Thursday, May 22, 2008

Raiding the Treasury & Other Wrong Things

Most Boring Sounding Crime Ever - The Farm Bill

Oh boy! A post about the Farm Bill! When Gail Collins wrote that she was following it, I assumed she was joking.

If you're like me, hearing the words "farm bill" results in
  1. Dozing off
  2. Changing the channel
  3. Turning the page
  4. Squashing any secret, vague political ambitions
  5. All of the above.
But apparently it's really important! Really! Who knew? Not me. One reason why it's so important is that they only do one every five years. So it affects policy for a fairly long stretch.



The U.S. Treasury - Where the money used to be.

Word that I'm hearing is that The Farm Bill (of 2007 - it's a year late, natch) is a $307,000,000,000 (that's billions) vote buying scam. Most of it goes to farming companies in the form of subsidies. But a significant piece also funds food stamps and does some good things, too. But this Farm Bill is almost universally being called a shameful example of pork barrel vote buying in an election year. But hey, it's a farm bill. That means it must be about growing food! Doesn't that just sound like the government is doing something to make us all healthier? Apparently that's not the case.


What galls me is that the sugar industry get subsidies, tariff protection, and price supports. Why? To benefit "farmers" like the Fanjul Family, Palm Beach billionaires who not so vaguely remind a lot of people of The Godfather. Sugar? Didn't we all pretty much decide that sugar was bad for us? Why are we subsidizing sugar?


Sorry kid, no prom date for you.




Subsidizing sugar reminds me of the tobacco growers who were looking for government handouts when all of the "no smoking" rules were being passed. They tried calling themselves "family farmers" being forced out of business by oppressive government regulation. I don't know how that story ended, but everyone I knew pretty much equated tobacco farmers with crack dealers. Except that today we know that they would all vote for Hillary over Obama, cause she's white, even though Barry is the one who smokes.


Mr. Cool

But I digress . . .

Weirdly, at least for me, George Bush and John McCain are this bill's 2 most vocal opponents. So, good on them. Credit where credit is due, and all that. Still, I suspect that they have an angle here somehow.

$307 Billion is a good chunk of change. For that kind of money, we stay at war in Iraq for a whole nother year. Of course, we'll do that, too, whether we can afford it or not. You know, because it's patriotic and supports the troops, etc.

Obama basically said that the changes that the bill did accomplish were the best that we could hope for this time around. "This bill is far from perfect. I believe in tighter payment limits and a ban on packer ownership of livestock. As president, I will continue to fight for the interests of America's family farmers and ranchers and ensure that assistance is geared towards those producers who truly need them, instead of large agribusinesses. But with so much at stake, we cannot make the perfect the enemy of the good."

Eeeeew! He's so articulate! Having vented, that's probably the last I'll think about the Farm Bill for another 4 or 5 years.


War Crimes - Gitmo

Sorry about that!

This hairy German is Murat Kurnaz, and he spent nearly 5 years in the American prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. He didn't look like this when he was "arrested" or "captured" or "kidnapped" or whatever it is that they call it these days.

He looked like this:

Taliban?

5 years can be a long time. Mr. Kurnaz was arrested by Pakistani police during a security stop of a bus, and turned over to the American Army for a $3,000 bounty in October 2001. Then he was sent to a prison in Afghanistan for 3 months, then to Gitmo in February 2002. But the real hoot here is that by late 2002, the Americans had already determined that Mr. Kurnaz was NOT a terrorist, and offered to return him to Germany, but Germany declined to take him. At this point in the timeline, officials have successfully fuzzed up the facts so that responsibility will probably be impossible to assign, which of course is the goal. But Mr. Kurnaz was finally released on August 24, 2006. When he got home to Germany, his own government did not want to admit it's own guilt, and so investigated him again. The press there dubbed him the "Taliban of Bremen." But he was ultimately cleared officially. Now he has been busy testifying to government committees in the US and Germany. So it's a happy ending. Except that his wife divorced him while he was in prison.

Internet Notes

So I'm looking at Craig's List and I notice that under the "For Sale" section there's a category called "Baby & Kids." Sounds like a cheap and lazy man's way to start a family.

My kids now like to download pictures of cartoon characters and play games on the Nickelodeon site. So I'm starting to worry about what else they might run into on the web. Is there a "safe" (meaning porn-free) internet service out there that anyone knows about?

Related quote (possible folklore alert) - "If you want to stop people from becoming like me, don't burn Catcher in the Rye . . . burn Hustler." - Ted Bundy, sadistic serial killer of women.

I'm currently the high bidder on e-bay for something I didn't tell my wife about. Talk about anxiety.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Worldview Mid-Week Update

Newsies Still Getting It Wrong - Both CNN and Politico continue to report that Hillary "won" Texas, despite Obama getting 99 delegates to her 94. What's up with that? Maybe the Atlanta Braves "won" last night because they got more hits.

Best Comment on Hillary's "White Strategy" - If she had any character at all, she would reject the votes of bigots and say as John Edwards said, “If you’re planning to vote against Senator Obama because of his race, I don’t want your vote either”.
— Posted by sparky, in the NYT, 5/21/08, commenting on Timothy Egan's blog

Clinton Campaign Strategy Manual

GOP Election Expectations this Week - The Republicans head man in the House of Representatives, John Boner of Ohio, predicted last month that Republicans would gain Congressional seats this November. This week he has backed off that bold prediction, but said he still "hopes" that Republicans will win more seats. Boner is the House Minority Leader, but is best known for bursting into tears whenever a bill to fund the Iraq War comes up for debate. He is also a staunch suck-up to President Bush. Under his leadership, the Republicans have lost three interim elections in a row, so he'll probably be shit-canned from his leadership position fairly soon.


Rep. John Boner, R-Ohio


Privacy Rights Lost this Week - Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, famous for his verbal temper tantrums, whining about his paycheck, acting like a pompous jackass, and his pro-privacy jurisprudence, has a scaredy-cat son, Christopher, who's teaching creative writing at the University of Virginia these days. Well one of Christopher's students, doing his assigned homework, wrote a very scary story about murder and suicide. It was so scary that Christopher ran and told the Principal. Then they had that scary student expelled, and sent to an insane asylum for the weekend. I suppose it didn't occur to them to actually teach the student about what was apparently so wrong with his writing. He must be one hell of a good writer to scare people that much. Or Christopher must be one hell of a pathetic little pussy. Or perhaps both. There's a lesson in here somewhere about privacy rights, or censorship, or the state's misuse of mental health labels as punishment, or something, and I think the news is bad. Maybe Christopher should check out the crazy scary books by Stephen King, or James Patterson, or Thomas Harris, or Bret Easton Ellis, or . . . well, you get the idea. You can check out the WSJ story here.




News That Might Be True - Speaking of the WSJ, this clip of Rupert Murdoch was making the rounds a couple of weeks ago. I can't tell if it's real or not, but I hope it is. I can't imagine Michael Bloomberg using this kind of language. In case this upload doesn't work, CLICK HERE to link directly to it on Youtube.

Madman Murdoch

Odd Political Dream of the Week - Speaking of bored newsmen, imagine this: Hillary convinces the Super Delegates to give her the nomination. Obama says "Adios" and teams up with Michael Bloomberg for an independent third party run. That would be cool. Plus, Bloomie's white, and pro-business, and may even be Jewish! All groups that Obama could use some help with.



The New Dream Ticket


Odd Political Moment of the Week - A meeting of Russia's opposition party, The Other Russia, headed by Gary Kasparov, was briefly interrupted by this flying dildo. To my practiced eye, it appears to be a western dildo, as Russians tend not to go in for circumcision. However the copter is a Russian contra-rotating rotor design, not generally used in the US or Europe. So we may have here a unique marriage of the best of Eastern and Western technologies.



Flying Dildo - No known relation to Rep. Boner


Separated at Birth? -



Wally

Tommy

Oldie of the Week - Spill the Wine - by Eric Burden & War, 1970. I used to listed to this in a "fort" with my friends when I was 10 or 11 years old on a transistor radio I got for Christmas. It was our favorite song. We had no idea why we liked it so much. I still love it and I'm still not sure why. The rumor was that it's about taking heroin. Though now I think I detect a vaguely Christian theme that hadn't noticed before.

Lyrics

I was once out strolling one very hot summer's day
When I thought I'd lay myself down to rest in a big field of tall grass.
I lay there in the sun and felt it caressing my face.
As I fell asleep and dreamed,
I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie,
And that I was the star of the movie.
This really blew my mind,
The fact that me, an overfed, long-haired, leaping gnome,
Should be the star of a Hollywood movie...

But there I was....
I was taken to a place, the hall of the mountain kings.
I stood high upon a mountain top, naked to the world,
In front of every kind of girl...
There was long ones, tall ones, short ones,
Brown ones, black ones, round ones, big ones, crazy ones...
Out of the middle, came a lady,
She whispered in my ear something crazy,
She said...

"Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,

"I thought to myself what could that mean?
Am I going crazy or is this just a dream?
Now, wait a minute,I know I'm lying in a field of grass somewhere,
So it's all in my head,
And then...
I heard her say one more time...

"Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,"

I could feel hot flames of fire roaring at my back,
As she disappeared, but soon she returned.
In her hand was a bottle of wine, in the other, a glass.
She poured some of the wine from the bottle into the glass,
And raised it to her lips,
And just before she drank it, she said...

"Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl,
Spill the wine and take that pearl."

The Liberal Lion in Winter

Senator Edward Moore Kennedy has been Massachusett's Senator for over 45 years.

He has been a consistent bastion of liberal ideology and strength for all of those years, especially importantly during those years when it was very difficult to be a liberal in this country.

As a College Democrat, I was a very low level volunteer for his 1980 Presidential Campaign against Jimmy Carter, as well as his 1982 Senate re-election campaign. I first met him in person in 1982 when he did a train whistle stop speech at the antique Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts train station, where I had arranged for the Massachusetts Maritime Academy Band to play. He thanked me in his brief speech, which was thrilling for me, and then we all boarded the antique passenger train and met him personally while riding the rails to Hyannis. He was a very affable fellow, radiating a joyful affection for everyone there, with what appeared to be a tinge of nervousness at trying to speak with us individually without ignoring anyone. I liked him.

He's called Ted by most people, Teddy by his family, but his close supporters refer to him as "The Senator." He's been The Senator for as long as most of us have been alive, since 1962.

We'll pray for him here and wish him well in his fight with this terrible illness.