Friday's Random Thoughts for April 18

I've realized that I'm going to have real trouble focusing on losing weight as long as I have this laziness thing going on.

I clicked on a headline that said, "First Look Inside Polygamist Compound," but there were no pictures.

Thursday on Morning Joe, Tim Russert blurts out that his son thinks Mika is a "cougar." They then discuss this briefly as a cute little conversation. Ummm. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but do they really not know what "cougar" means? If you need enlightenment, click here.

On an historical note, Germany seems to have succeeded in bringing it's eastern and western territories together nicely.

Kraut Cougar Queen Angela Merkel

Chancellor of Germany

I haven't watched the Philly Presidential debate yet. I was tired and I flipped to it just as Charlie Gibson was asking his first question. As he droned into his third inquisitive paragraph, I realized that I just wasn't going to make it. So I tivoed it for later. Apparently I didn't miss much.

Charlie Gibson. Only slightly less boring than George Stephanopoulis! What a duo. Was pairing these two "veterans" some sort of recycling statement by ABC?

Next time get Shuster and Zacharia!

Is oil expensive just because the dollar is weak? Is that what this is all about? Nobody seems to be running out of oil, so it's not a lack of supply. This weak dollar thing may have gone too far.

Remind me again the difference between fiscal policy and monetary policy? Which one does the Fed do? Does Treasury do the other one? Or is it Congress? What is our policy anyway?

While I don't know nothing about all that economy stuff, I sure do know a lot about Reverend Wright, Hillary's Grandpa, and Cindy McCain's cookies.

If China invades Taiwan, or Japan, or Hawaii, would we still keep the troops in Iraq? Wouldn't it be a hoot if they did it during the Olympics? We'd really be stymied then.

Remember the "nappy headed ho" scandal that got Don Imus shunned from the radio waves? Well, now when I'm driving around and listening to talk radio, my only choices are Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, or Neil Boortz. Nice going, sensitive liberals. You have nobody on your side on the airwaves of Atlanta. Unless you count NPR's Lois Reitzes playing classical music.

Jack Cafferty on CNN calls the Chinese "the same bunch of goons and thugs they've been for the last 50 years." The Chinese government demands an apology, so CNN apologies to anyone who thought Cafferty was referring to the Chinese people, clarifying that he meant only the Chinese government! Hah! While I don't usually like smarmy apologies, I really loved this one. As my Aunt Amy would say, "They don't like him, he don't like them." Harmony!

Hooray for the Grouchy Old Man!

If you're a woman reporter at Bloomberg, your picture should be here.

Roundball Playoffs are here at last. Go Celtics!

A Sad Farewell to Katie

Tis a sad song today, my friends. But we must honor tradition and sing it with heart.

Na na na na,

Na na na na,

Hey hey hey,

Good bye.

Time's Up For America's Sweetheart

See you soon, Katie!

Looks like Katie's out. The Wall Street Journal says so. And that's Rupert Murdoch a/k/a God talking there, so you know it must be true. I'll have to say that my wife and her snakey sister both predicted that Katie was a bad pick before she even was picked.

But first, a confession. I actually only watched Katie on the CBS Evening News twice. So having supporters like me doesn't really help her much. Also, I'm forced to say that the nights I watched . . . it wasn't good. And, with Katie in the center chair, the ratings reached depths even lower than those that Daffy Dan Rather had managed to reach. Just fyi, Katie pull in about 5MM viewers a night, while Brian Williams at NBC is at 8.3MM and crybaby Charlie Gibson at ABC gets an impressive 8MM. Ouch.

Side Note for Math and English nerds: "M" is the Roman Numeral for one thousand. Fans of Superbowls and movie copyright dates know this. So "MM" designates a million. I mention this because I've noticed that some of our tv reporter people are only using a single M, especially on their "crawlers," to denote a million.

The good news for Katie, and those of us who like to live vicariously through celebrities, is that apparently she has a contract through 2011 for a cool $15MM a year. Yeah, baby! Unsolicited fan advice: Make them pay you the whole thing!

Well, that bit of money news certainly helped to accelerate my grieving period for Katie, which is now over. So, looking to the future:

The Search Begins:

Who Will Inherit The Mantle Of Cronkite?

I'm imagining an unusual Saturday morning meeting taking place in an ostentatiously huge, corner office at the top of the Black Rock building overlooking Central Park. Stanley Bing, Les Moonves, and several other well fed white men, dressed in expensive business casual jackets and loafers, are smoking cigars and sipping bloody marys, and occasionally picking over a table of danish and bagels. Sumner Redstone is supposed to be on the speaker phone, but he's late. On purpose. Nobody's happy. Especially Les, whose broken promises Katie's people are already blaming for the whole fiasco.

But that's just my imagination. Who is likely to replace Katie? Here are my two off-the-cuff picks.

Harry Smith - The most likely pick. A 22 year CBS veteran, Harry is a great interviewer, has a calm and pleasant,but strong, presence, and a great baritone delivery. Knows his way around Black Rock, a strength that Katie notably lacked. At age 57, still young enough for a decently long tenure. And I like watching him. I'd be surprised if he's not at least the interim anchor for a test period, perhaps sharing time with our favorite oldster Bob Scheiffer.

Harry Smith

My second bet is Elizabeth Vargas. She's already been the primetime anchor at ABC, first as co-chair with Bob Woodruff. When Bob was seriously injured while covering the Iraq War, she was the sole anchor for a while. I was very disappointed that she didn't take over permanently, saying she wanted to devote more time to her impending Mom-hood. But now the word is that she was pushed aside after Charlie Gibson threw a hissy fit and threatened to quit if he didn't get the job.

What would make sense is for CBS to try to get Elizabeth under contract and groom her under Harry, like Tom Brokaw did for Brian Williams at NBC.

Elizabeth Vargas