Friday Random Thoughts

Bush Responds to the Economic Crisis:

The Nation is comforted

Notable Quotes:

The I-Man is back!

Donald Trump phoning into the Don Imus show this morning, calls George W. Bush, "the worst President in our country's history." Such insight.

The Donald - always classy

W - The Tragicomedy

Neil Boortz on the radio this afternoon describes Barack Obama and other unnamed politicians who want to raise taxes as "slavemasters."

Boortz with Falwell

This picture actually flatters both of them

Barry Oh! - The Master

Presidential Debate Review:

Well, as usual I fell asleep listening to the talking points regurgitation during the Great Debate. But I did catch the Joe the plumber discussion, which was, obviously, pathetic. But apparently newsworthy, since everyone on the tv is still talking about it. It turns out that Joe's real name is Sam, which is an understandable mistake since McCain's fact checkers are all in Alaska vetting Sarah Palin.

Johnny Mac - The Disastah

Sam "Joe the plumber" Wurzelbacher

You really have to just love saying the name "Wurzelbacher." Try it. It's fun! What is a Wurzelbacher? A brand of bratwurst? An organ? A toy that spins? An unlicensed plumber?

Oprah's Baloney: I'm sorry, but I'm not buying this story An Overwhelmed Mom's Deadly Mistake where the premise that a woman who left her 2 year old in the car all day isn't responsible for the tragedy. She was just trying too hard to be perfect and please other people. Now she wants to not let her little girl's "life be in vain." So she is on Oprah, saying, "Almost immediately, I said, 'How am I going to make something out of this?' "

Not my fault

Go Red Sox!

Proud Red Sox Mom

Everybody Loves Oprah!

Oprah, Queen of the World

The Worldview, like all civilized people with television access, loves Oprah. Just look at her! What's not to love? She looks pretty hot and regal at the same time in this gown.

Quick quiz: If you're a man, what are you looking at?

Liar.

We all know that Oprah struggles with weight, as many of us do. That's just another reason so many people really love her. She struggles with it. And she's not afraid to admit it. She's not a celebrity, she's a real person who is famous.

So, given Oprah's stature in our world, just what is this cockamamie thing supposed to be?

Well, it ain't Oprah.

For all the effort that apparently went into this, it misses the mark by miles. Let's count the ways:

1. Oprah smiles. She is a font of happiness who lights up the world. The golden idol here is scowling. It looks unhappy, downtrodden, maybe even a little angry. Not Oprah.
2. Oprah's nose is much prettier.
3. The idol has some sort of cranial deformity protruding from the front of the forehead. Oprah's forehead is a smooth, shimmering plain of beautiful, soft skin.
4. The idol's eyes are hooded, suspicious and too close together. Oprah's eyes are open and bright, full of interest, curiosity, caring and understanding. Her eyes are spaced symmetrically wide apart, in line with ancient ideals of beauty.
5. Oprah has fabulous breasts, and the idol has tried to capture this. So, we give this one a pass.
6. The hips. And the spare tire tummy. This is where the real injustice lies. Oprah does not have either of these features. Even when she's going through a heavy period, she gains all over. She is not a pear. Women are very sensitive to this, as the idol's artist must realize. This makes me suspect that something passive-aggressive is going on here. Those are not Oprah's hips or tummy.

So the idol gets a big thumbs down.