Everybody Loves Oprah!

Oprah, Queen of the World

The Worldview, like all civilized people with television access, loves Oprah. Just look at her! What's not to love? She looks pretty hot and regal at the same time in this gown.

Quick quiz: If you're a man, what are you looking at?

Liar.

We all know that Oprah struggles with weight, as many of us do. That's just another reason so many people really love her. She struggles with it. And she's not afraid to admit it. She's not a celebrity, she's a real person who is famous.

So, given Oprah's stature in our world, just what is this cockamamie thing supposed to be?

Well, it ain't Oprah.

For all the effort that apparently went into this, it misses the mark by miles. Let's count the ways:

1. Oprah smiles. She is a font of happiness who lights up the world. The golden idol here is scowling. It looks unhappy, downtrodden, maybe even a little angry. Not Oprah.
2. Oprah's nose is much prettier.
3. The idol has some sort of cranial deformity protruding from the front of the forehead. Oprah's forehead is a smooth, shimmering plain of beautiful, soft skin.
4. The idol's eyes are hooded, suspicious and too close together. Oprah's eyes are open and bright, full of interest, curiosity, caring and understanding. Her eyes are spaced symmetrically wide apart, in line with ancient ideals of beauty.
5. Oprah has fabulous breasts, and the idol has tried to capture this. So, we give this one a pass.
6. The hips. And the spare tire tummy. This is where the real injustice lies. Oprah does not have either of these features. Even when she's going through a heavy period, she gains all over. She is not a pear. Women are very sensitive to this, as the idol's artist must realize. This makes me suspect that something passive-aggressive is going on here. Those are not Oprah's hips or tummy.

So the idol gets a big thumbs down.

Toasty Tuesday In Florida

WHO'S TOAST AND DOESN'T REALIZE IT YET?

Always the Bridesmaid

Flash in the Pan



SuperCreep! SuperCreep! He's Super Creeepeeee! Zow!

And Finally . . . with special thanks to Ted Kennedy:



Overrated and Overstated and Just Plain Over.

Fickle Finger of Fate - Political Update

The Clintons are wearing out their welcome with the Worldview. I was a buyer when Hillary was selling competence and toughness, with a communitarian theme. But the dynamic Yalie duo has turned to nastiness and blatant distortion in trying to avoid defeat at the hands of nice-guy Barack Obama. This only makes the Clintons look like chickens, squawking in fear so loudly that it is giving me a headache.

Bill should be a little more careful about waving that finger at people. We've seen that act before, and seeing it again only makes people wonder where that finger has been recently. He's so shrill about Obama that he seems to have gone a little crazy.

Obama's latest act of indiscreet honesty was to reflect that Ronald Reagan was a "transformative" President. Well, duh. Of course he was. Reagan rebuilt the American military after it's post-VietNam decline, instituting a zero tolerance drug policy that turned out to be a huge morale builder, and giving us the military that we have today. Along with Paul Volcker, he helped to turn around our terribly stagflated economy, by stabilizing the money supply and letting interest rates float instead, cutting taxes and completely overhauling the tax code. Not everyone remembers, but America was feeling pretty low before Reagan got elected. We thought the Japanese were going to outperform us economically and were prepared to accept the Soviets (look it up if you don't know who they are) as our military equals. Reagan turned all that around.

Reagan also had big faults. He ran up a huge federal budget deficit, ignored people dying of AIDS, pandered to racist politics, and took a big dump on the environment. Bad stuff, but no different than a lot of other politicians today.

Hillary is twisting Obama's words intentionally. That is a smear. It's wrong. I'm not going to vote for her because of it.

I might vote for Obama, or I might not. I might vote for McCain. McCain is the only Republican I've ever voted for. If it's Hillary vs. McCain, I'm going with McCain. Edwards - I just can't figure out why he's qualified. If it's Obama vs. McCain, I'd have to think about it.

Huckabee has a sneaky mean streak that is starting to show. He's also pandering to religious bigots to undermine Romney, and to racists in South Carolina, where he defended the Confederate battle flag. As a Southerner, I'm sick of people assuming that all of the white people here are racists. We are not!

Giuliani has a blatant mean streak that is so out there I cannot believe the press hasn't ID'd him as an obvious sociopath. And he brings a psycho wife to boot. Hopefully he'll tank so badly in Florida that we'll never have to see his ugly, nasty mug again.

Romney, of course, has the best mug. But everyone says people don't like him. Who doesn't like him? I like him fine. He's smart, accomplished, faithful to his wife, and doesn't drink, smoke, or swear. I wish he had some national political experience, but I'd feel fine if he won.

There is something about Obama, though. He might just have the magic. You know, like Reagan, only better.