Dog Day

Four appointments today. Spread out around the metro area. Equipped with printed mapquests, an aging and out of date GPS in the car, the sporadically functional Sprint navigation system on my Blackberry, a full tank of gas and a 12-pack of Diet Coke, I head out to earn my daily bread.

House calls. That's what's happening today. Meeting folks at their homes to close their loans. Generally it's OK. Today all the folks seemed nice on the phone, and I am on schedule, so things look good.

I'm leaving appointment number 2, driving and typing in my next destination on the GPS when - BAM! - I've hit some crazy huge pothole in the road. I feel like one of my tires is flat, and the road is windy and fast, so I vear into an uphill side street as the dashboard lights start to go crazy, and then pull into somebody's driveway.

I stop and catch my breath. Well! That was stressful. Now what?

I look at the house and it seems that nobody is home. Check out the car and sure enough, a back tire is cut and flat. F-word. What to do now?

I call my wife to come pick me up. She's not answering. I'm thinking I'll need to find a number for a tow truck. Obviously it has been a long time since I've had a flat tire and I'm not thinking clearly because it takes me a while to remember that cars come with a spare tire. An extra tire! Just for this situation!

This is the kind of realization that makes you feel stupid for not thinking of it sooner.

So my first step is to the glove compartment, to flip open the owner's manual and figure out where this spare tire might be. It's in the trunk! Finding it under the carpet back there, I reach in and grab it and give a mighty heave and . . . nothing. Try again. And again. It won't budge. Boy, I am really out of shape. Then I realize that the tire is screwed into place back there so it won't bounce around.

This is the kind of realization that . . . well, you know.

Eventually the tire is out, leaning against the back bumper, and the jack is affixed to the car and I am jacking away to lift the deceased tire off of the ground. Then suddenly I see a shadow move out of the corner of my eye, and thinking that someone has approached (perhaps a suspicious neighbor), I look up to see the spare tire rolling away down the hill of the street. By jacking the car up I've caused the spare tire to stand up as well. And it is doing what all tires are born to do - hit the open road.

Thinking quickly, I decide to panic. I run after the tire toward the fast windy road at the bottom of the hill, waving my arms ridiculously and yelling "look out!" Cars stop. The drivers are polite. No honking or glaring looks. I wave apologetically and retrieve the tire.

It's getting hot. I'm wishing I wasn't wearing a suit.

Back to business. I carefully place the spare tire along the side of the car this time, and return to jacking the car up. I successfully unscrew the flat tire and haul it around to the trunk, where I (FATAL MISTAKE ALERT!) proceed to heave it into the trunk. Then I proceed to push and pull the tire to get it into the trunk's special spare tire wheel well that hides under the carpet back there. As I'm pushing and pulling, suddenly space and time seem out of sorts and I think I might be dizzy, but a loud crashing sounds makes me suddenly realize that the car has been moving and has now fallen off of the jack and the car and the wheel hub are now lying flat on the ground.

Thinking quickly, I decide to flail my arms up and down and yell the F-word repeatedly. Then suddenly I see a shadow move out of the corner of my eye, and thinking that someone has approached (perhaps a good samaritan who will change the tire for me), I look up to see the the spare tire rolling down the hill AGAIN.

Feeling that fate is against me, I am even more panicked this time, and run down the hill once more. Arms flailing, yelling warnings, hoping that nobody gets hurt because I cannot change a tire properly. Rolling the spare tire up the hill, again, I wonder about how to get the car off the ground.

Amazingly, the jack still fits under the car even when it is flat on the ground. Maybe there really is something to that German engineering rep. I silently thank whoever designed the jack for doing a good job, and start cranking.

A short time later, I'm back on the road. I'm not even that dirty. I wonder if I have a road hazard warranty for the flat tire. The whole episode only lasted about an hour. Not so bad.

If I hurry I can get back on schedule. Here's another insight I'd learned and forgotten, when towns run into budget problems, like now, police seem to give out more tickets. Hurrying begets speeding which begets speeding tickets. So a nice police officer reminded me to drive safely by begiving me a ticket. I can't say I didn't deserve it.

Tomorrow I'll be more careful.

Good Deeds Punished

Are we a Nation of Nitwits? Or am I just stuck spending time with the wrong sorts?

These are the questions I ponder as I listen to the folks I meet throughout my days who feel quite comfortable in sharing snarky political opinions about President Obama. These folks really don't like Obama. And why should they? Him being a big government Socialist who caused the Great Recession and all. Except of course for those days when he is being a big government Fascist who caused the Great Recession. Or those days when he is a big government Muslim . . . well, you get the idea.

So Clever!

Yesterday's experience was pretty typical. I was dealing with an elderly couple who were, of all things, refinancing their home mortgage. They were very old to be doing this, which brings to mind a few questions about personal responsibility and the virtue of thrift. But, thanks to Fannie Mae, such concerns can be set aside because our federal government has allowed folks like them to get a brand new mortgage loan on their home at 4.5% interest, which they are scheduled to payoff in full at the age of 114.

No wonder they have such negative feelings about the government.

These folks are supported by government welfare payments called Old Age Insurance Benefits or Retirement Insurance Benefits. This "insurance" apparently is designed to provide protection against the risk of becoming old or becoming retired. Go figure.

Old Age Benefits come from the federal government's Social Security Administration, which sounds suspiciously socialist to me. So we can all understand why these oldsters would be hostile to these Big Government programs. And much to what I am sure is their chagrin, the oldsters are also forced to get socialized medical insurance through Medicare, yet another government scheme to destroy Capitalism and redistribute wealth.

With all of this government intrusion into their lives, no wonder they feel resentful about it.

Of course like most of the folks I deal with who are over 65, they wanted to know if they needed to renew their exemption from paying school taxes. That's right, here in Georgia schools are funded through property taxes. But if you are over 65, you are exempt from this. This may seem shameful to people who care about things like children, or their country, but it was the only way that the people of Georgia who do care about education could get the oldsters to vote to fund the schools. It was a deal.

As one elder put it to me, "We want to make sure we get that exemption, especially since our kids are out of school now." Of course this is a perfectly sensible and self interested view. If you assume that self interest is perfectly sensible.

This is the Republican Party view of good democracy in a Capitalist America. If everybody votes for their own self interest, then that will translate into better results for all of us, and the country as a whole. It seems to sound OK. The fact that it doesn't really work, and that we all really know this, hasn't dampened our collective enthusiasm for repeating it as a sort of conservative mantra.

Like the senior citizens I met yesterday, most of the old folks I deal with don't like President Obama. Maybe because I'm a middle aged white guy, they assume I share their "Fox & Friends" worldview, and they feel free to share the Fox-ignorant-talking-point-of-the-day with me. Usually I say something non-committal, like, "We'll see what happens" or "I hadn't heard that." There really isn't much that can be said that would make a difference. Folks like this don't do much actual thinking for themselves. They listen to what fits into the established mail slots of their brains, and things that don't fit simply don't register, and fall by the wayside. They sit in front of their televisions nodding along with Glen Beck and sharing his frustration at how the federal government and unions and liberals are ruining the country, in complete self-denial that they themselves are living on the dole.

"Fair & Balanced" - and Friendly!

But of course the real frustration on my side of the fence is that they are us. These are Americans. It is embarrassing to realize that this is true. Their muddled mind mush of beliefs that our country was founded on principles of Capitalism, but also Christianity, while failing to take note of the inherent conflicts this implies, or what this means to us today, really brings up the word "stupid." That all of these folks at the bottom of the economic food chain love Capitalism so much is testament to the power of repeated suggestion. I doubt whether 99% of these folks know a true capitalist who would accept their call. And I doubt whether half of them actually know what a capitalist is.

So how do Fox and Rush and Hannity get away with selling such obvious baloney to our citizens? And why are we as a people still so gullible in such large numbers? Here's one explanation from a long ago anti-communist that still rings true,

". . . because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying."

Karl Rove could not have said it better.

For a better written take on Fox News, check out an interesting take by Deepak Chopra by clicking HERE.

Coming Back to Normalcy

FEELING BETTER BUT GRUMPY

Miscellanous Idiotic Ravings

Like a lot of folks, I've been busy freaking out about the recession. Like totally, as the kids say.

But lately, as the Dow Jones indexes go back up without me, many of us seem to share a feeling that things are at least stabilizing, even if they are not actually getting better. My brain doesn't really believe this, that things are stabilizing, because there is too much quantitative evidence that, economics-wise, we are maybe not even half way down the cliff yet. But my heart is feeling less panic, and so I want to make this positive feeling real by giving it a name. And so does everyone on the tv financial channels. I'm going with "stabilization." The tv people are going with "recovery." But of course, we are all just fooling ourselves to varying degrees.

So why feeling better? The USA lost half a million jobs last month. For anyone who doesn't know, that's a really really lot. But it is less than we've lost in a single month compared to the prior six months. (Maybe more. As I said, I've been busy.) So, the question is begged: is this good news?

Well, maybe. Maybe losing these jobs is like losing weight when you're sick, and we had too much fat in our banking and retail and carmaking booties anyway, so shedding these jobs is like shedding unhealthy excess mass so our body economic can use it's calories to build muscular work forces in green tech and health care and education and other long neglected systems. So maybe the recession is like a rough fever that will burn out the sicknesses that plague us.

Or, maybe losing these jobs is like losing blood and we are running out of life force, and our economy will begin a domino-like series of system failures as the inability of different segments to pay their bills leads to further weakening of other markets, until we are all in an economic coma wondering why we ever thought money was worth any more than the paper it's printed on. And even though I'm kind of curious about how that scenario might turn out, I don't think anybody who's not a crazed western hating Muslim wants to risk it for a real tryout. So we are all crossing our fingers real hard and hoping that our houses will somehow become overvalued again. Because that paper money value is real. It really really is. It just has to be. And someday if we hold on long enough it will all come back.

But I am just tired of worrying about it. So screw it. I'm done worrying about money and the news and the daily issues of worry. Whatever happens I'll just have to find a way to keep my family just fine. What can happen? The Taliban takes over Pakistan . . . , so what? It's Pakistan! All the smart people who were there moved here to manage gas stations and not clean the restrooms. I'll bet their nukes don't even work anymore.

What other bad things might happen? Gay marriage? All the homos get married and become DINK's. Sales of hybrids go sky high, and William Sonoma rakes it in. Florida condominium sales stage a huge comeback as Judith Martin is crowned Queen of Miami Beach. Iowa, Vermont, Maine, and Massachusetts declare that only Subarus are allowed in the carpool lanes. Wolves will dwell with wolves and leopards will lie down with leopards. The Great Plaid Debate rages on Sunday morning tv. Who are the idiots who are worried about that?

Chrysler and GM go bankrupt and consumers might stop buying their cars. Guess what? We've been slowly stopping buying their cars for years. Know why? Their cars suck. Even the people who buy them know it. They just buy them because they're cheap. Every time I buy an "American" car I regret it. But if a Tahoe costs $10,000 less than a Land Cruiser, then I'll be giving it some serious thought. The carmakers going bankrupt won't make a dime's worth of difference to consumers. Their cars will still suck, but some people will still buy them because they are cheap.

Budget deficits. Obama's a socialist. Terrorists are bad. Wall Street is greedy. China is big. Manny's on steroids. And the Asian kids are taking all of the Ivy League spots.

Oh noooooooooo!

So, what to do in times like this? One thing I've started doing is really more like stopping. I've stopped paying so much attention to the news. Oh I know things are happening all the time. But stop paying attention all of the time and it just doesn't seem like it matters very much. It's like being away for a few months and coming back and seeing tv again. It all seems pretty silly what folks are in an uproar about. You can get the same effect by simply turning off the tv for a week, then watching Fox. The ridiculousness of it all suddenly becomes striking. Glen Beck? O'Reilly? Sean Hannity? For Pete's sake.

So, in response to the recession I've stopped losing money as much as I can and started doing odd jobs for cash. In my particular professional parlance this picking up of available work is called "practicing law." But as a business model it's pretty similar to plumbing or housebuilding. All the jobs are temporary and last as long as you're needed. And you might not get paid if you're not careful. So far I've managed to keep paying the bills, but work is harder to find than it used to be. And I'm getting pretty bored.

It's not just me. Lot's of guys my age (a youthful beginning of middle age) are re-engineering their careers to find some way to make some money in this climate. And most of us are pretty happy to be making less than we used to as long as we are making anything. This makes talking to people who have been largely unaffected by the recession an annoying undertaking. These are people who have regular jobs. They "have talked to lots of guys who are struggling." Stupid job people.

I kind of wish I had a job. But then I think about how it would totally screw up my vacation habits. I like to go on vacation when I want. In my family, we go on pretty standard vacations. Nothing too fancy. But we go fairly often. We like vacations. So we go. But not now.

Now summer is here and like most of America, where we live has pretty much all the amenities of any vacation spot. That's one of the reasons why we moved here. We like it here. It looks like it's going to be a nice summer here at home for this typical American family. And I am really looking forward to it. Just a regular low stress summer at home. Beer and burgers on the grill in the backyard. Yeah, Baby.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter!

When the Cat's Away . . .

Dad is home alone this weekend due to a remote family bash and work conflicts. So let's get this party started!

First off, dinner! A fine meal of Tostitos, cheese and crackers, Hershey's Kisses, and beer. Mmm, mm, mmm. Not just delicious but vegetarian to boot. So it must be healthy.

Next, dogwalk. The pooch is still in training, so kudos to the little furball for keeping a clean floor while left alone. So, outside to "walk" with plastic bags and reward treats in hand. Mission accomplished. All systems are go.

The pup has been a huge addition to the family. Huge. Even though he himself is quite small. His arrival was anticipated for years by Mom and Dad, and for months by his two human brothers. Once the announcement was made, a flurry of little boy discussion followed, along with a surprisingly long series of dog movie picks for Friday night movie night. Dog movies are very funny. They really are.

Next up for Dad, work! There's a recession on you know, so working hard is very in vogue. Natch I accomplish about 20% of what I had hoped to get done. Because now the dog is throwing up. Uh oh.

I see what appears to be "not food." Don't know if this is good or bad. Thinking quickly and without any knowledge or expertise whatsoever, I act decisively. I give him water. Then, off on another dog walk. Things continue with the doggie illness for awhile but then calm down. We clean up everything, run laundry and settle down with another beer and some tv.
Remember that old Springsteen song, 57 Channels And Nothing On. I don't even know how many channels we have now, but the Friday night pickings were pathetic. Even CNBC and C-Span were showing infomercials. Made me wish I had some actual human friends in the area. There were ads for "live chat" with young ladies who were just waiting for my call. Frankly the ads are not very alluring. But I suddenly and sadly realize that I have become their target audience. All dressed up and no place to go. Except I'm in pajamas.
Only two friends in town, a dog and a tv, and one is throwing up and the other is boring me to tears. I briefly wonder how much the chat costs.

1-900-OKFACE

Maybe I should go out? I somehow have the feeling that I'm not allowed. There is a new movie theater up the road, but that's about the extent of my options. My brain is too tired to work. And I'm afraid to leave the dog. So it's off to bed with my Churchill book. Ah, Winston, my perfect bedmate. And I mean that literarily.

Saturday! Let's party! Except I have to finish the work that didn't get done yesterday and fedex it by noon. Crapola, because I am not a morning person. But . . . type, fill out forms, make copies, drive around . . . all done! The dog seems better, too.

OK, let the weekend bachelor fun start now! There's still lots of time and fun stuff to do. Like, uh, mowing the lawn, which has weeds up as high as my knees. First time this year, so dig out the lawn mower. Natch there's no gas, so off to the BP. Four hours later the lawn looks better and I am a middle aged hunk of hay fever. Achoooo! So, taking whatever meds happen to be in the house, it's dogwalk time again. This turns out to be the high point of my weekend. We do 2 miles, which is real exercise for me. I feel good about that. Feeling good can spread, so I decide no more tv for the weekend. This means that I eat dinner (ham & cheese sandwich) outside instead of in front of the boob tube. Man it is really nice out! Spring is here, birds are chirping, sun is going down, stars are coming out. This is actually better than tv! I talk to my neighbors, who are putting in a little garden wall. Human contact. Thanks goodness. I soak it up like a dry sponge.

It's nighttime and the dog wants to watch tv. This is his normal time at the end of the day with Mom when he gets to climb all over the furniture. It's hard to say no to a puppy, so we watch The Daily Show while he crawls all over me. Then it's another dogwalk and off to bed for both of us.

I really can't wait for my family to come home.

Worldview Word of the Week

TOXIC ASSET

We haven't had a word of the week in a long time. So this week our word is actually 2 words! I considered calling this the "term" of the week, but that just sounds lame, and confusing.

AND, because there are boatloads of folks who know tons about Toxic Assets, we are going to engage in a process called "punting." Punting means giving up on doing a job yourself and leave it for others to deal with. And it's going to work great here. So here is intrepid reporter Paddy Hirsch with a pretty good report on what a toxic asset is.

Lost in Wal-Mart

8:00 AM Saturday morning and I'm standing in the cake mix aisle at Wal-Mart, staring at Bisquick. Bisquick is Betty Crocker's recipe for pancakes and what we used to call "drop biscuits." I've been instructed to buy pancake mix that only requires water to be added. Bisquick ain't it. Bisquick needs eggs to make pancakes. I look around the aisle, and not seeing any other pancake mix, begin to feel inner tension gather.

I almost feel dizzy. I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Did I not drink any water this morning and am dehydrated? No, what I sense is that low level panic that comes from realizing that you are lost. I'm lost. But I know exactly where I am. The problem is that I don't know where I'm supposed to go. I realize that this is also a new kind of lost sensation for me. My usual problem is that I know where I'm supposed to be, but I'm someplace else. Where I want to be right now is back in bed.

Right about now I realize that I'm just confusing myself with these thoughts and so I reach into my pocket to call my wife and ask her what exactly I'm supposed to be looking for. No cell phone. This is what happens when you get up too early on Saturday. You forget your stuff and get lost and don't know where you're supposed to go.

I know that I'll catch hell if I bring home the Bisquick even if I get the eggs, too. That will be a failed assignment. "You idiot," I imagine she'll be thinking as she tells me it's just fine, "You can't find pancake mix in the supermarket?"

So, spinning around one more time, I decide to "walk the aisles." This is how I usually shop in the supermarket. I walk through the entire store and buy whatever I think I might want to eat in the near future. I'm not a shopping list person. Impulse is my game. I'm a supermarketer's dream consumer. I look at everything. Too bad for them I usually have a good idea of what to buy, I'm kind of cheap, and I have this quirk where I hate to waste food. It's like a thing with me. A pet peeve, a turn-off, etc. You know.

Wandering aimlessly through the bountiful aisles of low priced food, I'm nevertheless in an emotionally empty desert, thirsting for relief from the stress of impending failure and embarrassment. Turning a blind corner I am irrationally heartened by the sight of . . . grits. Instant grits. It's not pancake mix, but I sense that I have stumbled into the right neighborhood.

Then, next to the grits, oatmeal. Quaker Oats oatmeal. Next to that I see the instant oatmeal, which should indicate that I'm getting even warmer. But the surge of hope I felt from seeing the grits has soothed my emotional unease, relaxing my mind which now begins to wander. I'm not "staying on task" as my wife would say. I wonder about the actual Quakers and how you never hear about the Quakers complaining about how their image being used on the oatmeal is disrespectful. If there's a more boring food than oatmeal, I can't think of it, and this is what the Quakers get associated with. I wonder if there are even any Quakers around anymore. I once heard that Richard Nixon was a Quaker so he could have gotten out of serving in the military in WW II, but he volunteered anyway. And he never seemed to wear the Quaker hat. I realize that I have never met a live Quaker.

Then suddenly there it is. Pancake mix. Aisles and aisles away from the Betty Crocker's egg-requiring Bisquick sits Aunt Jemima's "just add water" instant pancake mix. Jemima seems to have lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw her. Ditto the head scarf. And while Betty can bake a mean cake, Jemima's my gal today. She's going home with me.

I am found. All I needed was to know what to do and where to go and my mind was at ease.

Sexting, Internet Porn, & Girls

So apparently the teens are out there sending naked pictures of themselves to each other on their cell phones. This is called sexting. Get it? Like texting with sex! Oh, there's nothing like a good pun.

Oh, brother.

I'm reminded of a half-remembered piece of wisdom along the lines of, "Before we invite people to do as they please, we should determine what it pleases them to do." The "sexual revolution" of the 60's and 70's upended some accepted standards of behavior. But what are the standards now? The situation is complex and there are no simple answers.

So, now there are lots (and lots) of stories of teenage regret about naked pictures being sent "privately" to a "boyfriend" that have "somehow" been received by everyone in your local high school. Oops. Those darned teenage boyfriends! Who could have predicted they'd turn out to be indiscreet?

Now, before we all articulate our brain stem's autoresponse, "Duh!", let's reflect on a few things.

First, people do stupid things all the time. If I can keep my stupid decisions down to 1 per day, I feel I'm doing pretty well. As we become adults, we become better at avoiding some, and talking our way out of others, but still nobody's perfect. And teenagers are still kids inside, no matter how big they look. So they make a lot of mistakes.

Second, some good news. When these kids are in their "middle age" they are going to be happy to have these pictures. Believe me kids, your 40 something body will not look like what you have now. And you'll be glad to have some proof that you used to be good looking.

WV as a young man.

Third, a lot of your classmates will end up seeing you naked at some time or other anyway. Do you all still have to shower after PE? So, unless you are doing something really weird in the pictures, no big whoop.

And fourth, there is already so much nudity out on the internet that the current interest in your own personal picture will probably pass fairly quickly. So just lay low for a couple of weeks. You are just today's story in a short news cycle, and soon your classmates will find somebody else to gossip about. Did you hear the latest about Bristol Palin breaking off her engagement?

For Parents, here is link with some good thoughts on this: http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/sexting-and-the-art-of-parenting/

So, let's stress that sexting is not a good idea. While it might seem "flirty and fun!" most people will view it as kind of trashy behavior. Around here, in the South, girls or women who give themselves up too easily are considered to have low self-esteem. And as Mrs. Lovett taught us in third grade, "No one will respect you if you don't respect yourself." Mrs. Lovett taught in the North, btw, where I grew up. She was one of many great teachers who formed the village that raised me. But the message, whether called self-respect or self-esteem, is the same. Each of us can decide how much we value ourselves, and demand to be treated with respect.

Which brings me to the very uncomfortable subject of internet porn.

(With all of these sex related keywords, this post will probably set a record for hits on this blog. Sorry to disappoint you newcomers with the lack of prurient content.)

You may not have realized this, but the internet is chock full of pornography! It's true. You can look for yourself. This then begs the question, "What's up with that?" (space for obvious joke here.)

A more innocent time.

Having grown up in the "let's steal my Dad's Playboy" days of pornography, I am astounded by the vastness of the growth of the internet based pornography industry. But things have changed. Playboy in the 60's had a theme that "the girl next door" was sexy, and that sex was OK. It seemed like a wholesome recognition of reality, and a welcome counter-balance to the heavy handed Catholic anti-sex lectures I heard while trying to get some action with the girls. But that's not how it is now. Take a look at the Playboy channel on tv today. It's just another skanky hard-core porn site. Yuck.

Frankly, the presence of pornography in various media that is piped right into our houses has gotten way out of hand. My kids are on the internet right now, on a Disney sponsored game site. But how long will it be before they find themselves staring at some stranger's high definition privates?

Well, I for one think that we need to make it a lot more difficult to access pornography than it is. And I'm pretty sure that our Constitution and First Amendment writing Founding Fathers would be fine with some limitations on this. Except maybe Jefferson, who I still have serious doubts about.

Jefferson - known Rascal

I mention this because I remember the debate over requiring V-Chips in our tv sets. They all have them now. I use it all the time to regulate what shows can be watched without an access code. So my kids can watch tv without my having to make sure they haven't changed the channel to something I don't want them watching. But back in the 90's the tv networks and the ACLU fought against them, saying they violated tv producer's first amendment rights. What? Their first amendment rights to get at my kids? Thankfully this bullshit failed to carry the day.

So I'm calling for restrictions on internet porn! Yes, a daring and courageous stand, but someone needs to be the voice in the wilderness. I'm also a big supporter of baseball and hot dogs. So I guess I'm now on the same side as the late Jerry Falwell on something. I've looked for an internet service that would only allow "G" rated stuff that I can sign my kids up for, but haven't found one. This seems like a project Tipper Gore might want to take on.

Tipper, we need you!

But, while I worry about my own two boys, I'm also concerned about the girls in the porn. Where do they come from? Is porn becoming an acceptable job among our young people? How did they end up there? Did they get recruited at the high school job fair? Or did they get started the old fashioned way by running away from home and getting picked up by chickenhawks at the bus station?

We've made a mistake here. We've let our tolerance for vice turn into an full fledged acceptance of vice as just another business. Whether you like to look at nekkid wimmin or not, there is definitely something degrading happening to a woman, or girl, who appears in porn. The men, too, I suppose, but I really don't have any sympathy for them, though I'm hard put to explain the difference. I just don't.

Anyway, allowances for vice should be contained (meaning limited) in a civilized society. And allowances for discrete practices should not be turned into social approval. I fear that this is what is happening here, to the detriment of our children and our country. Porn is a vice. It's naughty. Just because we don't put people into prison for it doesn't mean it's good.

This is a tough subject to discuss, so my apologies for rambling.

Rainy Saturday Random Thoughts

Does anybody really care if Jim Cramer recommended buying Bear Stearns? Has anybody really come forward to claim they bet their life savings on a single stock that was recommended on tv? By Jim Cramer? Cramer should come clean, but I'm having trouble caring too much about this one.

Seriously?

Is PETA pro-life? I'm just wondering.

I'm suddenly craving a steak.

And what is the significance of calling someone a "pumpkin eater?"

I think Michelle Obama's arms look great. Who are these people who complain about these things?

Yowza!

More and more of my age peers are on Facebook. I think it's impinging my blog traffic.

Bob Herbert is right about Chicago needing a third airport. I actually fly into Milwaukee and drive down I-94 just to avoid using O'Hare. Milwaukee's Billy Mitchell Airport is great. Atlanta also needs another airport.

Dick Cheney assassination squads? Holy cow, I can't wait! I assume Mike Meyers is already planning a movie.

Somehow nobody is surprised.

There's something funny about spelling "assassin."

The gay teen, Spencer, got booted off "Survivor" after discussing on camera, ad nauseam, his decision not to let anybody know he's gay. Sssshhhh! Such angst! Well, guess what? Now my nine year old (and the rest of the Survivor world) knows that Spencer's gay, and he wants to know what that means. Thanks a lot, Jeff.

Just some dudes raising a pole.

Thankfully the rest of the gay Survivor contestants, as well as the heteros, have other things to talk about. Like how to win Survivor. Fretting about one's secret gayness hasn't proved to be a winning strategy. Didn't this kid watch the Richard Hatch season one victory? It was Hatch's bold and daring FNF strategy that carried the day. There are no closets on Survivor.

On the news front, all of the Major Dailies seem to be going kaput. (Full disclosure: I don't really know what "kaput" means.) This is a major concern for all of the luddites who still buy paper papers. I never buy a paper paper anymore. I read them online like everybody else. If they're free. Our inkstained friends will need to turn their heads around from telling us what happened yesterday and try to see tomorrow. Paperless news is not only a foregone conclusion, it's already here and well established. Adapt or perish.

Speaking of old news, we also have broadcast tv news on the decline. The tv broadcast news folks will tell you that this is just terrible for our society. Huh? I'm always puzzled when tv people act like Jon Stewart or Colbert or even Cramer are in the minor leagues because they are on cable channels. Well, from this viewer's perspective you are all on cable channels. Am I supposed to think that a tv show on Fox is somehow more prestigious than one on CNBC or MSNBC? Why would I think that? The cable people are just better to watch than Katie or Brian or whoever is anchoring ABC News.

Which brings me to this whole HD broadcast brouhaha. I had no idea that you could still get tv without cable! I don't know a single person who does that. Though, technically, I have satellite tv, not cable. But the point is that to me it makes absolutely no difference. It's just tv. I don't care how it works. The milkman could bring it to the house in a bottle for all I care, as long as The Daily Show comes on when I want to watch it. But if I can get HD tv shows without shelling out $125 a month to Dish Network, then I'm in. This reminds me of my old man up on a ladder strapping a big antenna to our chimney. How retro! Getting broadcast tv is going to become Recession Chic. You'll hear it at parties, "And I don't pay a dime." Look for me on the roof with a wrench and a big old box from RadioShack.

The 70's really are back.

Movie recommendations!

Movies you may have assumed, or heard, would suck, but don't - Family Films Category - you know, for the kids.

City of Ember

Hero kids.

A Lobster Tale

Dad & son reunion.

Paul Blart, Mall Cop

Funny & sweet.

Hotel For Dogs

Dogs & kids

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO BLOGGER - The formatting problems are a real pain.

For Tymmy, Our Nurse

God
called me in morning
and asked me
would I do good
for him alone
without reputation.

- Florence Nightingale

Save Detroit

Poor Bobby Jiindal. He really does seem like a nice guy. But the country just can't afford any more nonsensical ninnies right now. Giving the Republican Response to President Obama's non State of the Union speech, Bobby was clearly and pitifully out of his league. The faux pas were many. His problem didn't seem to be that he sounded like he was telling an inspiring story to his 5 year old, but that he offered absolutely zero ideas on how to go forward and quickly address our nation's economic crisis.

Following in W's Footsteps

This is of course not just Bobby's incompetence. It is the actual Republican strategy. By being unhelpful naysayers, they will feel entitled to complain about anything that doesn't seem to be working exactly as hoped, and complain that the President's plans that do work didn't work as well as claimed, or really just slowed down a recovery that would have happened anyway. They really do think that we are a mob of idiots. And why shouldn't they? Until this past year, we've proved them right in 5 of the past 7 Presidential elections.

But that's not putting country first. Which of course is the point. The Republican's successful strategy is to get the labor class to unite with the moneyed class against the interest of the middle class, by baffling the uneducated buffoons with bullshit. And it usually has worked, as it has for centuries, since the middle class came into existence.

So, I'm loving the public ridicule that Bobby is so deservedly catching for his performance. But he'll be back. Rascals and con men have a shameless way of coming back to life.

Meanwhile, "conundrum" seems to be the word of the week, as non-economists realize that an economy based on the circulation of wealth is really tricky to mess with. Any solution to one problem creates a new imbalance somewhere else. It's a lot like trying to re-start a jet engine in flight without blowing it up. It's harder than it sounds.

Take our friends in Detroit. Despite decades of selling us clinking, clanking lead sleds through sleezy sales methods, they are now in need of public assistance. No crime there. Everybody needs a break now and then. But what's the problem? And what's the solution?

Our newsie friends give us the impression that Detroit needs money. Well, sure. Not having money is a problem. So is the solution to give them some? Well, not so fast.

The "Big 3" don't have any money because sales are down. Ford, which is the best condition of the three, has sales down about 2 million cars per year. That's a lot of cars. And a lot of jobs. So maybe the real need isn't money, but sales.

So here's an idea. Let's increase sales. That would give Detroit more money without just handing over a big old bag o' cash.

How? Incentives! Tax cuts! Republicans have to love this idea. And it sort of makes sense. And not just tax cuts, but tax credits. A tax credit is a dollar for dollar discount off of your tax bill for evey dollar that you spend on a BRAND NEW CAR! (Use Monty Hall voice.)

So, we give a big tax credit to everybody who buys a brand new car. I know that I would love a new car. Who wouldn't?

But Worldview, won't that flood the car market with used cars that will compete with new cars for overall car sales?

Well, yes, of course! That's the conundrum part. So, what to do? Export them! How? Tax credits again! Give dollar for dollar tax credits to folks who donate their used cars to overseas charities. This will not only help overseas charities, which is good, but also deplete the stock of available cars for sale, thus helping demand for cars recover. Hah. That wasn't so hard.

In the meantime, how about regulating these doofuses into building something that makes sense for our future. Just selling "what the market wants" is a crack dealers ethic. It doesn't stand up to scrutiny and should not be incorporated into public policy. And cars sales has now become a part of public policy whether you like it or not.

Now that's a car.

EEEKonomics

The world economy is bad. Know why? Here are some popular guesses:

Bad mortgages?

Conflict of interest of rating agencies?

Leverage?

Structured Finance?

Collateralized Debt Obligations? Whatever they are?

E-Z Credit?

House flippers?

Alan Greenspan for not reigning in credit availability?

Sub-prime credit?

Barney Frank for pushing easy mortgage credit?

Oil speculators?

Phil Gramm for pushing repeal of Glass-Steagal?

Well, it beats the hell out of me. But it seems that everyone agrees we have a big problem.

Asking what the solution is gets a lot of talk and a lot of plans, but not any real explanation of why The System can't absorb these credit failures without completely breaking down. It's all about confidence, say our experts. Confidence? What happened to rationality? Remember the rationality of the markets? Just last year our good Republican leaders were telling us that markets were soooo rational that we should, as a society, allow The Market to determine healthcare and education policies.

At least we are having a better day that Sir Allen Stanford whose stock appears to be falling in the market of public opinion.

Among other things I don't understand is why gold is so grand these days. Why are yellow rocks that we can dig out of the ground any better money than papers with Presidents? Well, many people believe in gold (idolatry!) and think that the yellow brick road to the gold standard is the best way back to confidence.

But I doubt it. Confidence is just a stepping stone to what we really need, which is spending! And the best way to get people to spend today instead of save is good old fashioned inflation. Inflation also has the benefit of being selective, which allows today's inflated markets, like housing, to stay flat while other prices in the consumer's basket rise.

So let's go back to those pre-Volcker days and pump up the money supply. Size matters and we need a big fat M1 for a de facto devaluation. I'm telling you, it's the cure.

PDS - Pick, Dust, Start

This is the song President Obama referenced in his Inauguration Speech. I learned it as a child, when my Grandparents and their generation of Aunts and Uncles would sing it to us.

Click the PLAY arrow

So, tonight I'm back in Vegas, starting all over again.

Things are starting off unevenly. My flight got moved to a different concourse, and nobody told me. I made it, and sat next to some very enthusiastic cowboys. They were a chatty bunch. I still managed to sleep about half of the 4 1/2 hour flight.

Vegas has a long cab line at the airport. I was assigned spot number 13. 13? In Vegas? I can't believe they even use that number here. Not the good omen I was hoping for.

At the hotel the countergirl gives me a room on the second floor. Why not just write "low roller" on my forehead? I briefly wonder if I inadvertently offended her.

But, I must say, my room is fantastic! They've completely made over this place, and they did a great job. It's funny how a nice room can pick up your spirits. And when I say "your spirits" of course I really mean my spirits.

Natch I've only packed one pair of pants when I thought I had two. I hope I don't spill anything! No red sauce tonight. The conference is about to start, so I'm showered and dressed and ready to schmooze. Let's see what opportunities we can dig up.

America. Still the land of opportunity.

Looking on the Bright Side

Go ahead and play it for old times sake.

I see skies of blue . . .

Just kidding! Enough with the old music!

But seriously, aren't there some macro indicators that call for a little bit of optimism?

We have a new President. And he's not stupid!

Oil prices are way down. And OPEC (a/k/a NAMBLA) can't get the price to go back up!

Interest rates are way down. This has to be good for somebody!

The Iraq War or whatever it is has an agreement in place for American troops to come home. The troops gotta love that and it should save our government a boatload of money! Which we can give to our insolvent banks instead!

And a tax cut to boot!

It all sounds like a recipe for recovery to me. Let's bake this cake!

Recessions Suck

The good part of being in a recession is that when everybody is having a hard time, the feeling of individual failure is diminished.

Yes, I really had to reach for that one.

Being a small business owner, I'm not too big to fail. In fact, it appears that I'm just about the perfect size. Nobody has offered me a bailout yet. But I'm keeping my cell phone in my pocket just in case.

President Bush supposedly once said that the problem with the French was that they didn't have a word for Entrepreneur. I'm not sure if that's true, but as an entrepreneur I can tell you that America's professed love for us small business types is little more than a summer fling. Where's the love now that times are hard? I'm not feeling it.

I got to lay off eight people yesterday. That was pretty miserable for all of us. Where is our bailout? How about a Small Business Administration emergency loan program? Nada, zip, zero.

What this country really needs is a consumer based bail out.

A CONSUMER BASED BAILOUT!!!

Let everybody refinance their house for what they owe on it with a new 30 year fixed at 6%. No qualifying, no appraisals, no credit scores. This will allow anyone who can beg, borrow or steal their monthly payment to keep their house. And most people will find a way.

The second piece of this ingenious plan is to let everybody consolidate all of their non-mortgage debt into a big consolidation loan for 10 years at 10%. Again, no qualifying!

The government can insure the loans and mortgages and charge a fee for the insurance that the consumer pays. This is already happening somewhat with FHA refinances, but not enough. We need to let everybody refinance. It will stabilize housing prices as well as credit card issuing banks.

And being who we are, we'll all go out and start spending like drunken sailors again, saving capitalism for another day.

Write your congressman today!!

Gas and Oil Go Together Like a Lance and Boil

ATL gas is at $1.75.

AND . . . Oil is less than $55.00.

It is fuel for a recovery!

My old pal Mitt wrote a great piece for the NYT saying that GM et al should go through Chapter 11 if they want a bail out. Hear hear! Read it HERE. Go ahead. It's not as boring as it sounds. Mitt can write, too!

Mitt knows Money!

Have you noticed that Mitt is way smarter than Sarah Palin? I wonder if little old John McCain has noticed? Mitt for Treasury!!!!

The poet in John's heart.

Onward to Senior Statesman status!

Regrets, I've had a few . . .

Is This True?

Oct 05, 2008The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog "Leisha's Random Thoughts" has translated the story.It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge:When it was finally Mary’s turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.-You’ll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said.Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.-I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions, says Mary.As tears streamed down her face, she heard a "gentle and friendly voice" behind her saying, "That's okay, I'll pay for her."Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.-He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.-He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.Who was the man?Barack Obama.Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:-He was my knight in shining armor, says Mary, smiling.She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him:In the spring of 2006 Mary’s parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.And Obama replied:In a letter to Mary’s parents dated May 4th, 2006 and stamped ‘United States Senate, Washington DC’, Barack Obama writes:‘I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami airport. I’m happy I could help back then, and I’m delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes. Sincerely, Barack Obama, United States Senator’.The parents sent the letter on to Mary.Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the kind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.Truly a wonderful story, and something that needs to be passed along in the maelstorm of fear-and-smear politics we are being subjected to right now.UPDATE: Thanks for the recommends, folks! Also, remember this was 1988, when 100 dollars was quite a bit of money, compared to today's value.By the way, this would be the perfect antidote to the Smear E-mails going around. If anyone has a good long email chain list, shoot it out, and let it be passed along.
Posted by Miss Caldonia at 7:13 PM
Labels: Airport, Barack Obama, Mary Andersen, Random Act of Kindness

Giving Money to Addicts

Ever since Ross Perot ran for President, I've just loved charts.

Bad news, well presented.

Amid the world-wide economic turmoil, my own private economic meltdown has been keeping me occupied, at the expense of this blog. But in the past few days some positive signs have got me feeling better! Still, actual cash would be even more appreciated.

Among our favorite columnists today, Billy "William" Kristol, legacy Harvard PhD and writer for either the Weekly Standard or the New York Times, or both, seems on the verge of some actual soul searching regarding conservatives' obsession with so-called "free" markets. Of course, a conservative's idea of a free market isn't really "free" at all. It is all dependent on various government constructs and police enforcement of made-up property rights. Take away those government interferences and we'll see a real free market. But that would be too scary.

Kristol hints at a rethinking of the innumerable and very obvious misconceived premises of recent economic thinking. Perhaps he is responding to an inadvertent personal glimpse of real life he's recently experienced, and realized that not all of us enjoy cradle to grave economic security. That real people suffer real consequences when jobs are lost. Or maybe he's just thinking in terms of realpolitik, that a cold and hungry Reagan Democrat will become a cold and hungry New Deal Democrat pretty quickly.

Hmmm. Squeezing my head makes my brain work better.

For these conservatives, letting the homos get married suddenly doesn't seem to matter quite so much when their money is swirling down the drain.

Of course, I don't know William Kristol. He seems pleasant enough on tv. But he's influential. And his public voice has helped lead public opinion of the elites that read the two rags he writes for down the wrong paths for several years now. So he deserves some serious criticism.

Likewise Alan Greenspan. I was stunned when he testified to Congress that he was surprised that banks and financial institutions did not "institutionally" impose more actively conservative risk management policies in their investments. Is he kidding? Can he possibly be that naive? The word "stupid" is in my head, but that can't be right. Can it? The folks who run these places are there to make money. For themselves. Did he not get that?

Oops. Sorry.

Markets are made of people. Institutions are made of people. People are not rational. People are selfish. People have agendas. Loyalty to their employer is way down the priority list, if on it at all, for most people. Investment executives are in their positions to "drive personal wealth." Their own. That is why executive pay, like structured financial deals, should ideally "align interests" of all the stakeholders involved. Of course, this doesn't happen that often. BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE AGENDAS! So, they negotiate unobvious advantages for themselves into deals. Advantages like shifting all the risk to the sucker who provides the money. Thanks to the various recent bailouts, that sucker is now us. Thank you Congress!

I'm glad we learned from that Iraq War fiasco not to let fear rush us into imprudent action. These bailouts are obviously well thought out. What's the exit strategy again?

Free markets are a myth. We need fair and honest markets.

Banks and corporations are government creatures. Being government creatures makes these institutions subject to government restrictions. This doesn't have to cost a lot or even involve a lot of regulation. We can do it the conservative way, by unregulating!

Want to ease the pain of AIG's exposure to credit default swaps? Pass a law that the government will not enforce or aid in the enforcement of any credit default swap that was not given under applicable insurance regulations and has a proven insurable interest. Hah! What would happen then? I don't know because I can't find that anybody has modeled the results of this scenario. But it seems pretty obvious that nobody has modeled what is going to happen by having our civil courts available to enforce these illegal insurance contracts, and to pour hundreds of billions of tax dollars into AIG to honor them. That we are doing this without understanding the consequences, good or bad, is just plain crazy.

I do not want my taxes used for this. This is one screwed up mess.

Joy

This is the first time in my life that I have ever seen an election cause people to dance in the streets.

OMG He's Really Really Old

Oh My God!

It has only just now occurred to me that Sarah Palin could actually end up being President of the United States.

It doesn't seem like the kind of thing that should be real.

Make Your Own Sarah Palin Joke Day!

Check out Sarah's socialist scarf!

Wearing other people's clothes

You know it's a recession when even the Governor wears donated clothes.

Sorry, but that's all I have time for.

Black Silver Lining

I love a good chart:

Oil is literally half the price it was just 3 months ago. This is great news for a couple of reasons.

First, of course, is that our gas is already costing us less. And we like that.

Second, and far more importantly, it shows a dramatic shift in pricing power out of the hands of oil producers (i.e. OPEC) and into the hands of oil consumers (i.e. you and me). We have shown (albeit unintentionally) that conservation measures that reduce demand for oil can have a huge impact on the market price. And pricing power is real power.

So, what do we do with that kind of power? Beats me, but the only man with a plan who I see out there beating the drum is T. Boone. So I'm with him.

Go Rotary!

But whatever we do we should do it soon. Circumstances will continue to change with time.

Presidential "What If" Scenarios

Section 3 of the 20th Amendment:

Section 3. If, at the time fixed for the beginning of the term of the President, the President elect shall have died, the Vice President elect shall become President. If a President shall not have been chosen before the time fixed for the beginning of his term, or if the President elect shall have failed to qualify, then the Vice President elect shall act as President until a President shall have qualified; and the Congress may by law provide for the case wherein neither a President elect nor a Vice President elect shall have qualified, declaring who shall then act as President, or the manner in which one who is to act shall be selected, and such person shall act accordingly until a President or Vice President shall have qualified.

Electoral College members meet in each of their respective states to cast their votes on December 15, 2008.

The votes of the Electors are then officially tallied and certified before Congress on January 9, 2009. Members of Congress may object to this certification.

Why I Don't Like Mondays

NPR - I remember when NPR had their pledge drives and we would buy the stupid apron or whatever because they played classical music and read books on the radio and didn't have commercials. Now they have lots of commercials, but the pledge drives continue, and they seem to get more obnoxious every year. So on my way to work I switch to Don Imus, who is obnoxious and has lots of commercials but doesn't insult my intelligence the way NPR does. BTW, the I-Man is on 106.7 here in ATL, which bills itself, without a trace of irony, as "Atlanta's True Oldies channel."

Yuck

Microsoft - I was forced to be the only one in my office to "upgrade" to MS Office 2007 a few months ago, after foolishly "updating" my PC with Servicepack 3 for Windows XP. Are you asleep yet? So, Servicepack 3 blows up my computer, a Hewlett Packard. Schlepping it down to Geek Squad, I'm told that this is the 4th Servicepack 3 blow up they've received that day. (I'll skip the part where I do the exact same thing again the following week.) So anyway, I can't get MS Office 2003 put back onto the PC because we can't find the correct disk (even though my office has several) with the right serial number or something, so I have to buy MS Office 2007. What a piece of crap. Basically they moved all of the buttons and controls around so they are hard to find and simple tasks require several more "clicks" than they used to. So, right now I'm taking this mental health break to blog (and vent) because I've just spent about 15 minutes failing to figure out how to add a worksheet to a spreadsheet I'm working on that was due last week.

Waste of money

Major League Baseball - An umpire calls a third strike on a checked swing with the bases loaded and 2 outs in the 8th inning of ALCS game 7? Are you kidding me?

Hear, Hear!

Milk - I get to the office and pour a cup of coffee, get the milk out of my fridge with an expiration date four days from now, and you guessed it . . . sour. WTF?

And it's not even nine o'clock yet.

Friday Random Thoughts

Bush Responds to the Economic Crisis:

The Nation is comforted

Notable Quotes:

The I-Man is back!

Donald Trump phoning into the Don Imus show this morning, calls George W. Bush, "the worst President in our country's history." Such insight.

The Donald - always classy

W - The Tragicomedy

Neil Boortz on the radio this afternoon describes Barack Obama and other unnamed politicians who want to raise taxes as "slavemasters."

Boortz with Falwell

This picture actually flatters both of them

Barry Oh! - The Master

Presidential Debate Review:

Well, as usual I fell asleep listening to the talking points regurgitation during the Great Debate. But I did catch the Joe the plumber discussion, which was, obviously, pathetic. But apparently newsworthy, since everyone on the tv is still talking about it. It turns out that Joe's real name is Sam, which is an understandable mistake since McCain's fact checkers are all in Alaska vetting Sarah Palin.

Johnny Mac - The Disastah

Sam "Joe the plumber" Wurzelbacher

You really have to just love saying the name "Wurzelbacher." Try it. It's fun! What is a Wurzelbacher? A brand of bratwurst? An organ? A toy that spins? An unlicensed plumber?

Oprah's Baloney: I'm sorry, but I'm not buying this story An Overwhelmed Mom's Deadly Mistake where the premise that a woman who left her 2 year old in the car all day isn't responsible for the tragedy. She was just trying too hard to be perfect and please other people. Now she wants to not let her little girl's "life be in vain." So she is on Oprah, saying, "Almost immediately, I said, 'How am I going to make something out of this?' "

Not my fault

Go Red Sox!

Proud Red Sox Mom

Tuesday Quick Numbers

As of Today:

BRENT CRUDE FUTR (USD/bbl.) - 75.030
WTI CRUDE FUTURE (USD/bbl.) - 79.350

GAS - Georgia October 14th:
Regular $3.20 (Last week: $3.72)
Premium $3.51 (Last week: $4.08)
Last year: $2.69 / $2.96


Unemployment Rate: 6.1% in Sep 2008

Inflation - 5.4%

Dow Jones Industial - 9,311

Weird McCain Prayer

HERE is a video with a soundtrack.

HERE is a woman just reading the weird part.

Is That A Bell?

I believe I see the bottom today.

They say it's hard to tell,

and they don't ring a bell.

But with futures turning green,

And cheaper gasoline,

The central bank's guarantees have calmed their colleagues' unease,

So they'll feel comfort in lending away.

Happy Columbus Day!

So, is the recovery here? Maybe. Let's at least enjoy the respite. How? Well, by singing show tunes, of course. It's free! So, here's a song for all of us little people who have been waiting for the big shots to get their act together.

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.

Which old Witch?

The Wicked Witch!

Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.

Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.

She's gone where the goblins go,

Below - below - below.

Yo-ho, let's open up and sing, and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.

Let them know The Wicked Witch is dead!

We should all break even by 2017!

Someone Has To Just Say It

Sarah Palin is an ignorant, hate mongering, dangerous racist.
That sentence could have been a lot longer.
She is obviously unfit to be Vice President of the United States.
The people of Alaska should be ashamed they elected her Governor.
I am ashamed that she is partly defining our national political debate.

"Our opponent though, is someone who sees America it seems as being so imperfect that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country?" - Governor Sarah Palin

It could really happen here.

Sarah's muse - Westbrook Pegler, who was kicked out of the John Birch Society for being too extreme and anti-Semitic, quoted by Palin in her Republican Convention acceptance speech:

"We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty, sincerity, and dignity." I know just the kind of people that writer had in mind when he praised Harry Truman.I grew up with those people. They are the ones who do some of the hardest work in America ... who grow our food, run our factories, and fight our wars.They love their country, in good times and bad, and they're always proud of America. I had the privilege of living most of my life in a small town.

Good Old Westie - No Jews for him

More Glimmers of Hope

Crude Oil prices as of this morning:

BRENT CRUDE FUTR (USD/bbl.) 78.800

WTI CRUDE FUTURE (USD/bbl.) 82.280

Side note - These are both prices for one barrel of crude oil on the New York Mercantile Exchange (NYMEX). Brent is from the North Sea, north of Scotland and WTI is from Texas. Both are considered "sweet crudes" meaning lower sulfer content, which makes refining cheaper and yields more gasoline per barrel. Generally, WTI (West Texas Intermediate) has been considered the "benchmark" price that you will hear newsies quote when they give a single price for oil in their reports.

This is good news for lots of reasons. First because there will be more money in your pocket after gassing the car, but also because the trend is declining, which means supply is exceeding demand and the price will continue downward.

So, I'd say it's too early to give up all hope.

Are We At Zero Yet?

Glimmer of Hope Alert:

Ben Bernanke's weekend (again with the weekends) coordination of world-wide central bankers all lowering interest rates for banks and providing a federal guarantee on commercial paper has unlocked the cp market. Of course, it wasn't really "locked" so much as rates just went up. With Bernanke's Backstop (I just made that up!) the risk and rate for cp are now down, so hopefully (ha ha) our companies will all be able to make payroll this month.

Banker Ben - Man with a thankless job

Am I the only one who hears the begging of the question as to why so many US companies need to be able to sell commercial paper to make payroll?

Oil Prediction Tracker - Almost to $80 well before November 1st.

What's a Copyright?

Meanwhile, mysterious Barack Hussein Castro Lenin "Benedict Arnold" Obama is scheduled to whip Johnny McCain's droopy white ass and become the 44th President of the United States. Let's hope so. At what point will our national stupidity be exceeded by our collective will to live?

But let's not count our chickens before they hatch. Republicans are a scrappy bunch, and continue to defy expectations. I don't think anybody in their wildest dreams thought they could possibly screw things up any more than they they had, but just look at us now! And it just keeps on coming! Looks like the "battleground states" will be Pennsylvania and Florida, the two oldest states by average age of their citizens. Those Florida contests are always fun to watch. And of course, the panhandle is Maverick Country.

We should be so lucky.

On to planning for next year . . .

Monday Morning Quick Thoughts

The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act Passed!!!

Yay!!!!

This will allow us taxpayers to prop up those financial institutions in our society that are unsound for 3 more months, before they inevitably fail anyway. Yay!!!

At only $700 Billion, with 90 million actual US taxpayers, that's about $7,777 per taxpayer.

Such a deal!

For you good, simple, small town Republican folks, this is what's known as "throwing good money after bad."

For you gamblers in Vegas, this is called "doubling down."

For you financial wheeler dealers, this is called a "golden opportunity" to grab some free money.

For you folks who actually pay taxes, this is called "getting screwed."

But thank goodness the crisis is over!

Pajama Man's Random Thoughts and Vocabulary

Nothing about Wall Street here today!

Sarah Palin and I differ in at least one important respect. I almost never read newspapers anymore. I read newspaper websites. Mostly the New York Times, because it's free, and because I like their columnists. "Like" may be a strong word for some of them, especially Kristol.
But, I must give props to the San Jose Mercury News, which was one of the very first newspapers to have a free on-line edition back in the mid 90's. It's hard to realize now that the internet used to be largely free of business sites and advertising.

Back to the NYT, it is with the NYT columnists or pundits or whatever they call themselves these days that I sort of enjoy a love-annoyance relationship because of their obvious, intentional affection for injecting esoteric words into their columns. Love, because it is fun to look up words and learn something. Sometimes it's a word that I've heard for years and maybe even used myself, without knowing exactly what it really meant. Other times it's something completely new. Annoyance, because having to stop and look up a word interrupts the flow of reading the column and the thought process of absorbing it.

I look them up on Merriam-Webster.com, because it, also, is free.

Here are some recent samples. First, from David Brooks, yesterday, describing members of Congress who voted No on you-know-what.

nihilist - a doctrine or belief that conditions in the social organization are so bad as to make destruction desirable for its own sake independent of any constructive program or possibility

And here's one from Moe Dowd, describing William F. Buckley, a brilliant and gentlemanly conservative that liberals, like me, could not help but like.

sesquipedalian - given to or characterized by the use of long words

William F. Buckley - 1965

Moving on - Fall is Here!

Reflections on the water like shadows in my mind

Speak to me of passing days and nights and passing time

The falling leaves are whispering winters on its way

I close my eyes remembering the warmth of yesterday

It seems a shame to see September swallowed by the winter

And more than that its oh so sad to see the summer end

And though the changing colors are a lovely thing to see

If it were mine to make the change I'd let it be

But I dont remember hearing anybody asking me

Well it's time to make seasonal adjustments. For me, that means pajamas, aka pyjamas. Which I wear. Almost every night. In the winter I wear flannel pajamas. That's cotton flannel, which I know is technically flannelette, but who really cares. My wife buys me one new pair each year to wear on Christmas Eve. And, since I tend to save my clothes for a very long time, I have about ten pairs of flannel pajamas now. They take up a lot of drawer space. But they never seem to wear out. And boy are they comfortable.

Even in the summer I will wear light weight cotton pajama bottoms with a tee shirt. Often the tee shirt is an actual undershirt. I favor white V-necks, slightly large and loose fitting.

Growing up in the 1970's I rarely wore pajamas. They were viewed as goofily out of style. Reminiscent of Fred MacMurray in a full robe and slippers get-up, smoking a pipe or heating a glass of pre-bedtime warm milk on the stove. Nothing so stuffy for us cool kids at the tail end of 60's hipness or the dawning blow-dried 70's. PJ's were out. They did not seem to be something that real people, or at least real men, really wore.

So, what did one wear to bed? Ann Landers famously pronounced that it was perfectly respectable to sleep in the nude. She further delared that wearing underwear beneath pajamas was silly. So, sleeping au naturel became a cool, albeit private, fashion statement to publicly declare, whether true or not. It conveyed a sense, not of a tight clothing budget or questionable hygeine or a lack of air conditioning, but rather a sense of sophistication and self confidence that one was comfortable in their own skin. And not afraid to be seen in it.

Me, I dressed for comfort. During the high energy costs of the late 70's and early 80's I slept in as little as possible in my un-air conditioned, sweltering quarters during the hot months, and bundled up in sweat pants, turtle necks, and wool socks during the cold winter months. Now, with oil DOWN to $95 a barrel today, those days of bundling up may just be coming back.

Flannel Pajamas are almost always plaid

Really, those days weren't so bad. We managed to have a lot of fun. And snuggling up in a warm bed on a cold day can feel positively luxurious.

Grammer question for today: Is the plural of pair "pairs" or "pair?"

Running on Empty

I am against the Bail Out.

And I'll tell you why. If somebody asks me for $700 Billion they better be able to articulate to me why they need it, what they are going to do with it, how they are going to pay it back, and (very importantly) why they are asking ME.

I have been paying as much attention to this fiasco as any other average citizen, and I have not heard a rational explanation of why this . . . whatever it is . . . is necessary.

No explanation = no money.

What I am able to glean is that over the past several years our financial system has veered into excessive risk taking through 2 channels, i) lowering standards for evaluating borrower's creditworthiness, and ii) lenders using imprudently high leverage to increase profits. So, now that the chickens have come home to roost (ha ha), we are seeing the 2 inevitable results, i) bad borrowers defaulting on their loans, and ii) over-leveraged lenders unable to withstand rising defaults on their portfolios because of their paper thin balance sheets.

I know it's more complicated than that. But I'm not a PhD and I don't have the time, or the ability, to spend trying to educate myself now when Hank Paulson and Ben Bernanke are screaming that they need this money like yesterday. The hurry! hurry! hurry! of it all reminds me of being on a sales tour at a timeshare resort. So my instinct is to keep my wallet in my pants. (That's good advice generally, btw.)

Well, I found a smart guy who has articulated my feelings on the matter, Jeffrey A. Miron, an economist at Harvard. He explains why he's against the Bail Out in a short and easily readable opinion piece HERE at CNN.com.

NO BAIL OUT!!!

Lehman's Brother - Cooper Lehman

Meanwhile, back on Main Street:

Wall Street may be out of money, but Atlanta is out of gas.

At least we all get along here

There is no gas here. All of the gas stations have plastic bags over the handles of their pumps to signal that they are empty. Why? Because Texas had a big storm. Sighhhhhhh. Put two oil geniuses in the White House and what do we get? No redundancy in our vital infrastructure. Rumor is that the Port Arthur refinery is still not working because there is no electrical power to it. Can that be true? A refinery that doesn't have it's own generators? Talk about poor defense planning.

In the category of counting the glass half full, having no gas has gotten people to stop complaining about how much it costs once they are able to find some.

Meantime,

Of course, we Georgians are still running out of drinking water, but we've suspended our fretting about that to deal with this more imminent crisis of not being able to get to the grocery store.

Lake Lanier - Atlanta's Water Supply

I can't wait for the weekend.

The Day The Music Stopped

Banks For Sale - Cheap!!!

Good morning America. All the banks have gone crazy. Make sure you have cash on hand in case the ATM networks decide to play it safe and restrict access to your bank's accounts.

Tough day to be a banker.

BTW, does anybody else see some dark irony in the inability of insurance giant AIG to manage it's own risk?

ANYWAY, I really don't know how this mess all got started, but it has to end. At the bottom of the mess is the credit crunch in housing. This is what is killing Bear Sterns and Lehman Brothers and other investment banks. At least that's what we used to call them. I believe they are all just "financial institutions" now, thanks to a law called Gramm-Leach-Bliley or GLB.

That's Gramm as in Phil "Mental Recession" Gramm, the smiling fellow on the left in the picture below. Phil was a senatorial whore for the banking industry back in the day, and so pushed through GLB to repeal the old Glass-Steagall Act, which was passed back in 1933 to prevent another Great Depression caused by the collapse of our banks. I think we can all see what a great idea this was, and we should thank Phil accordingly. He's from Texas, you know, where the death penalty is enthusiastically enforced.

Old Boys Network

So, GLB got rid of the separation of banks, investment firms, and insurance companies. Now they could all merge into giant "financial institutions" that, it turns out, are "too big to fail." But fail they do, and tax money is used to prop them up.


Guess who voted for this brilliant idea! Republicans! Really. Check out the vote right here and see it split along party lines. Bill Clinton signed it though. Another nail in his legacy coffin.

Sandy Weill

What prompted all of this? Businessmen like Sandy Weill, who seems to have been president of most of Wall Street at one time or another, hired Gerald Ford and Robert Rubin and other lobbyists to push congress to dismantle Glass-Steagall. And it worked! Sandy even got an early exemption to pretend that the law didn't exist for 5 years before it was repealed, during which time he merged Traveler's Group with Citibank to form the world's largest financial institution. Wow! Impressive, but bad.

John McCain voted for the repeal. Joe Biden voted against it.

BTW, Glass and Steagall - both Democrats.

Senator Carter Glass

Congressman Henry B. Steagall

No Barack For You

Oil Oil Oil!

Spindletop

You can buy oil right now for $93 a barrel!

At the risk of becoming a conspiracy theorist, I have a suspicion, born of nothing but common sense and the brain God gave me, that the oil industry does not want Barack Obama leading the US, and will push oil prices down to help the economy before the election.

Six weeks ago I called $80/bbl by November 1st. But we may see it sooner.

Speaking of which, I am onboard with the Pickens Plan to make America energy independent. Check it out and please join! You can look it over by clicking here.

Iraqi Oil Well - American Soldiers

Little Piggies as Bait

This pig kind of looks like Mike Meyers

I've just about lost any residual respect I had for John McCain over this pig with lipstick dustup. Here's where we are as of this morning.

Yesterday Barry Oh! was telling a crowd that McCain's policies are identical to W's policies. He ticked off a list of areas where Johnny and W are "on the same page." What Barry did not do was mention Sarah Palin. Not at all.

So Barry proceeds to use some of his fancy, east-coast elite "logic" on the crowd, by pointing out that electing a Republican who will continue to implement current Republican policy isn't really "change." Barry says this because Johnny Mac is now all about "change." Just ask him.

But Barry's not buying Johnny's rap. So, he says to the approving crowd, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." Or something like that.

THE POINT HERE IS THAT BARRY WAS USING A METAPHOR TO DISCUSS MCCAIN'S CLAIM THAT HIS POLICIES WOULD CONSTITUTE 'CHANGE."

It's an old sales expression. "Let's put some lipstick on this pig and sell it." Merrill Lynch used it in a tv ad a few years back, and was promptly chastised by the rest of the securities industry for giving away the basis of their business models.

SO ANYWAY, McCain promptly issues a statement demanding that Barry apologize to Sarah Palin for calling her a pig.

What a fucking sack of shit, as my dear old Grandma used to say.

So, why would John McCain, a self proclaimed pillar of integrity, stoop to out and out falsehoods and character assassination? The answer is the simple one. He really wants to win and will do anything he can to do so.

The risk to McCain is that people like me, who could be won over (I actually voted for McCain in the 2000 primary), will be utterly disgusted by this unethical and dishonest behavior.

But the upside is very sweet. And multifaceted.

First, there are a whole lot of people out there who will only hear about this indirectly and believe straight out that Obama must called Palin a pig. This will make them mad at Obama. This is the cheap win.

Second, the news cycle is dominated by a discussion of who said what, with Barry sitting in the virtual docket, the accused. He's on the defensive.

Third, Barry will have to respond. The best thing here for McCain would be if Barry got angry and showed it, trying not to repeat the 1988 Dukakis fiasco of appearing incapable of emotion, like Mr. Spock. Then Barry would become an ANGRY BLACK MAN. And he would lose. Next best would be for Barry to be filmed giving a long, rambling explanation of what his comments meant. This is bad because i) his comments are what they are, ii) he will appear weak, and iii) we may end up with video of Barry saying the words "Sarah Palin" and "pig" in the same sentence. That would be the lede tonight on the tv.

Mike Dukakis logically explains why he wouldn't execute a man who rapes his wife.

So, what's a brilliant, sort of black candidate to do in this situation?

Keep on smiling, brother! Show the love! Barry's got possibly the best smile I have ever seen. Smile and laugh likes it's a big, funny misunderstanding. Say, "Anyone who's smarter than a fifth grader knows what I meant!" Nice Jeff Foxworthy reference appeals to rural and southern Americans, who generally vote for Republicans. Talk about how nice Sarah Palin seems. She does seem nice, so that part won't be hard. Barry's already doing this. It's smart.

Don't get roped in. Don't get angry. It's a trap.

But it's also an opportunity to start a negative narrative on John McCain. Barry can take this pig and make a meal of it if he's on top of his game. More on that tomorrow.

Oil is at $100 a bbl today!

Soooooo . . . do you think that's good news or bad news? I think it's bad news that we think it's good news.

Sheikhs on a Plane

Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid

Sheikh Rashid of Dubai has not only recently been named Crown Prince of Dubai, he also bought hisself one badass jet. It is, indeed, good to be the Sheikh.

Aerion Supersonic Business Jet

This birdie cruises at Mach 1.6, seating 8 to 12 passengers. Price is $80MM.

Where do you reckon that money comes from?

Sarah Palin - It's Over :(

Nobody likes me

Ev'rybody hates me

Guess I'll go eat worms

Surprise! Every real-life person I know hates Sarah Palin. They really, really hate her! She's the opposite of Sally Fields.

Sally - lookin' good back in the day

So, let's hop on this bandwagon and start some Palin bashing!

Why do we hate Sarah so? For one thing, she wears fur. Grrrrrrrr.

And don't think that we are above some good, old fashioned, cheap political mockery. Here is Sarah dropping her hubby off at the sweat lodge on her way to an overdue waxing.

That has to feel weird

Even the Republicans are only pretending to like her. And it's only going to get more pathetic from here. Everyone, meaning the Republicans, will blame John McCain. He was close in the polls until be picked this North Pole retro-mom. (Snark!) He coulda been a contender, instead of a bum.

I would predict that Sarah will at least end up with a secure career on the pro-life speaking circuit, but that voice. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. I already reach for the remote as soon as I hear it.

Wake me up when it's time to vote.

Sarah Palin Again!

All Eyes Are On Sarah!

So the big question on everyone's mind before she gives her prime time speech tonight is,

"What should she wear?"

Well, let's take a look and see what we think America's new Brown Eyed Girl should wear.

1. The heavy, cream colored silk jacket and black skirt from the other day?

No no no. First, it's too tight, making her look fat when she's not. (Especially next to Skinny Cindy.) Second, the flaired jacket over the dark skirt is a classic "hide my fat, enormous ass" trick that is not only unecessary here, but never fools anybody.

2. The Red Business Suit.

Red is the Republican's color of choice these days, so maybe. But I don't think so. It's time to face some harsh truths. Sarah looks hairy. In the way that Greek girls tend to. She has really really thick, dark hair, bushy eyebrows, and wispy hints of sideburns. So far, no big woop. But throw in a pretty significant nose and a jawbone that you could slay a mammoth with, and you have some very strong features that need to be addressed.

The red does nothing for her. Sarah's skin is not red toned, it is brown toned. All the red suit does is call attention to her bright red lipstick, which then makes you realize that she has put herself into the wrong colors. And that is not the kind of judgment we look for in a Vice President.

3. How about a pale gray business suit?

Again, no. While this might be OK as an office staple, this shade makes her normally warm, brown toned skin look grayish, which does not look healthy. And we want Sarah to look healthy! She is a vibrant, strong woman who can kill an elk with a knife, have five babies, and win fights with cops! She cannot show up appearing anemic. Gray is out. Besides, it's a boring color.

Compare the same suit on someone with pink toned skin. That is where this color works.

4. No scarves. Please.

5. Ditto for turtlenecks.

6. Same for . . . oh my God it's one of those puffy down coats from the 80's!

Congrats to Sarah for having a Black Friend! They can't be easy to find in Alaska. But that does not excuse the coat.

7. OK, don't avert your eyes yet. Try to ignore the crazy blue shirt collar for a moment, and look at how Sarah's skin responds to the brown windbreaker here. It's very comlementary. I think brown may work for Sarah. Plus it's an unusual color, which will create buzz.

8. How about basic black?

Well, it is an evening event, and it's officially fall, but I just don't think that black will work well, either for Sarah or for tv. The stage seems dark already, and with her dark mass of hair, she may well just seem to disappear.

9. Prom Dress?

YES!!! This is a direction we can work with. Not the pink, but definitely the glam. It's Prime Time, baby! Time to put on a show! Slam 'em and glam 'em and razzle bedazzle 'em. Tonight is Sarah's night to make a statement. No suits. No jackets. No Plain Jane, Sister Bertrille outfits. You're a woman, so look like a woman!

A few things work well here. First, going with an evening gown or dress will make Sarah look more sophisticated. The business suits make her kind of look like a school marm who just got promoted to vice principal. And she needs a little sophistication to snuff out an ugly "hillbilly woman" narrative that is beginning to get some traction.

Second, Sarah is curvy. Just like a woman! A dress will emphasize this in a positive way. After all, the woman thing is part of the sales pitch, right?

Third, the open neckline works really well because Sarah's face area is so busy with all of the hair, the glasses, the big earrings. Not to mention the schnozz and the jawbone. An open neckline gives these things some room to breathe. Sarah has a lovely face and it needs a large frame.

10. Legs.

Sarah's got legs. So make the dress knee length. This will also look more traditional and be way easier to walk around in.

Summary - So, I think what we are looking for is a knee length, brown dress with an open neckline. Here are some visual cues:

Greek Girl in an open neckline

Some Random Brown Dresses

Throw in your handsome husband, and it's the night of your dreams.

Sarah Palin

Big John giving the Tony Soprano Fist Pump

John McCain is apparently determined that if any torch is to be passed to a new generation of Americans, he wants to do the passing. Thusly, we are introduced to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

My wife already hates her.

Oddly, I predicted this pick in my May 9, 2008 post. And since I'm rarely right about these things prediction-wise, please permit me to point this one out.

Although I disagree with Sarah about many political issues, what little I know about her I find charming. "Charming" is not supposed to be a basis for picking elected political leaders, but that's democracy! I can base my vote on any thing I damn well please! And I will.

I am assuming this is fake

While others harp, I give kudos. McCain obviously knows that sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck . . ." and take a leap of faith. That's what this looks like to me. Not desperation, but a real leap of faith.

McCain had to see that the big picture had him drifting toward defeat. But this election is still winnable for him. He needed to bust a move, but a smart one. Boldness is risky with the electorate these days, especially after all that "bring it on" idiocy that Curious George gave us didn't work out so well. So McCain found in Sarah a bold move that can rightly be characterized as a bold Return To Responsibility. She's a real reformer, with some energy policy cred, and has stood firm against wasteful government spending when taxes and the budget deficit should be big issues in this election.

News-wise, this pick seems to have had a good short term effect. Sarah's pick has truncated the buzz of Obama's great speech. If not for the hurricane (Gustav), she'd be the talk of the town right now. The pregnant teen daughter story should run for the rest of the election. Will she get married? Is the boyfriend a bum? How do we know it's his? What kind of nightmare family is he going to bring to this fiesta? That should help to kill the Dem's narrative that the GOP ticket is out of touch with low class Americans.

Sarah, all the while, is one perky peach. The giant, ultra-white smile, the big goofy glasses, the aura of the nerdy, brainy girl who turns out to be a real hotty at the end of the movie. In a middle-aged, Republican sort of way, of course. Even the dorky, Francis McDormand Fargo accent. It's all somehow appealing. All of her quirkiness makes her seem more normal.

Compare that to Mitt Romney, whose lack of personal faults and Ward Cleaver type of hyper-normalcy just make him seem weird.

Sarah's Alaska roots make her more outdoorsy than everyone I know. She sounds like some kind of hunter-gatherer woman who has a double life as an executive in the city. But I would definitely want her on my Survivor team.

Sarah as Miss Nude Alaska 1984

The real speculation is whether Sarah can attract the Pumas. Pumas!!! Hah hah! Who made that name up? (Party Unity My Ass, in case you were wondering.) These are the women who are still mad about Obama beating Hillary. And they are specifically mad at Obama. I'm not sure why.

Well, most of these Puma gals are verrrrry pro-choice. And Sarah is not. So, a Republican vagina on the ballot may not be enough to get them excited.

But . . . it may very well be enough to get a lot of the more politically conservative women excited. Excited enough to get out and vote, when they would otherwise be too busy. Except for the occasional loud mouthed tv kook, like Ann Coulter or Laura Ingraham, these women are a largely ignored demographic. But there's a lot of them around here, and in other "swing states" too.

Laura Ingraham - Loud & Stupid

Coulter - Skanky, Obnoxious, Inexplicably Famous

So, we'll have to see how Sarah performs on the big stage. I will definitely watch the Veep Debate now, where I probably would have skipped it if Romney or Pawlenty was the candidate. I think Biden will do well against a woman. Catholic boys are taught good manners, and learn how to argue with a Nun without going over the line.

At least now we have a reason for watching the election again.

Don't forget to vote!

Mid-Week Catch As Catch Can

Michael Phelps - The longest of long drinks of water. Can he possibly not be on steroids? 5 Golds and counting . . .

I kind of hate this guy

Russia invades Georgia. The other one. But now they promise to pull out. We've all made that promise before. Can you trust a pull-out promise from a guy named Putin?

While on that topic . . .

John Edwards . . . how long is this stupidity going to last? For a long time as far as I can tell. Is anyone else intrigued by the evidentiary/pornographic possibilities raised by the fact that his mistress was a videographer? A videographer who praised Mr. Edwards for his willingness to "try new things?" There must be a video around somewhere.

Looking at my older posts, I realize that someone has hacked in and inserted a variety of typos, non-sequiturs, and overly vague and esoteric references. It's pretty frustrating.

Bloomberg News is quoting Dennis Gartman that oil will go down to $80 a barrel. Hmmmm. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah. Right here last week.

Almost a year and a half ago T. Boone Pickens predicted $100 a barrel before any other serious players. Now he's promoting a wind based energy independence plan for the US. Sounds good to me.

T. Boone - Ahead of the Curve

What's in the head of a 5 year old boy? My son plays games in his head while sitting around the house or in the car. Asked what he was thinking about, he replied, "Pokemon, Scooby Doo, Star Wars, and Giants. All of those."

Quick Movie Reviews:

The Ruins - Not good, but not terrible. For older teenagers.

Chimps in Space - The kids loved it.

WALL - E - Great movie. We all loved it.

Back From Vacation

(Sorry for the long absence. I hope somebody still reads this.)

A week out of town and away from the tv can really reset one's perspective. For one thing, coming back and listening to the news, it seems like one long episode of News of the Weird.

First, I noticed some good news occurring.

Check this out:

Oil prices are down! Yay! We knew those oil execs would force prices lower before the fall election to help out John McCain! (No windfall profits tax for them.) I'm guessing $80/bbl by November 1st!

U.S. Military Has Fewest Iraq Deaths Since Invasion

Click Here for details.

12 American soldiers died in July in Iraq. Feels odd to be happy about that, but we all know the context. That's 12 out of 147,000. Sounds safer than commuting.

More good news . . .

Mad Men is the best show on tv, and the new season has just started. It's produced by AMC, of all things. So good luck finding it. At my house it's on Sunday night at 10:00, but we tivo everything now. We rented the first season on dvd, and actually went out late to get the rest of the disks because we were so hooked. Did I mention that everyone in the show smokes like a chimney? It is tremendous!

A Mad man and his crazy wife

Our declining civilization . . .

I can't believe what a stooopid campaign John McCain is running, and he's in a virtual tie with Barry O! Of course, we elected W twice, so I guess that's just who we really are.

Financial rumor - The price of gas has caused consumers to run up their credit card balances, causing liquidity problems for card issuers. This will result in a 2nd wave credit crisis as card banks fail, people's cards get cancelled through no fault of theirs, and they can't buy groceries. Bummerpalooza.

No brainy chick for July. I considered Nobel Laureate Doris Lessing, but a communist muslim is just too radical for me. Plus, McCain is souring me on old people.

Random Fourth Thoughts

Happy Fourth of July!

America the Beautiful

Go ahead and play this. It won't bite.

I WANT VISION! I WANT VISION! I WANT VISION!

Thank you, St. Thomas

I really do want vision. An American Vision. The Vision Thing. Remember that?

On this Fourth of July, Independence Day, America's Birthday, what do YOU want your country to be in 100 years?

Well, presently we are diligently building more highways, more strip malls, more sprawling suburbs, and lots of gee whiz fancy weapons to kill our enemies (and collateral civilians, who apparently we needn't feel responsible for).

So, is this where YOU want to go?

What do you reckon America will look like 100 years down this path?

They're YOUR grandkids, after all.

Welllll, this is where leadership comes into play. Since we are in the process of picking our next President, how about we ask about their 100 year vision.

I know, I know. McCain tried that and is still catching flack for it. But look at what we've learned! Most of us don't really want 100 years of Americans at war in Iraq, which most of us still have trouble picking out on the map. Hey, it may seem obvious that we wouldn't pick war over peace, but it's important to know this with clarity, not to mention certainty. The other thing that we learned by Mr. McCain's blunt proposal is that apparently a good number of us, though a minority, actually do want 100 years of war. That is really the surprising part to me, and, again, important to know.

So what? Does a long term vision matter in picking our President? Or is getting the housing market and retail sales back on track asap the most important thing? Well, actually, they are both important. We can't go bankrupt while we build our country's next generation of infrastructure.

So, looking for a vision, here's a crazy sentence I ran across recently: The purpose of humankind, like that of all other creation, is to sustain that which is right. For humankind, this occurs through active participation in life and the exercise of good thoughts, words and deeds.

Lot's of people believe this kind of stuff. But it's really hard to really live that way on a day to day basis in our commercial society. And a quick note to the few folks out there who will sniffily reply, "Well, it's not hard for me," come here so I can slap you.

So, today on America's day, where do we take her from here? Give it some thought. Ask Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain what they want the country to look like in 100 years. Of course, the hard part is always getting from here to there. But this is exactly what America has excelled at in it's history. It is our extraordinary national talent to be able to put our collective (commie word alert!) shoulder to the grindstone and get things done!

Can we do it? You bet your ass we can. Americans will work hard when persuaded that it really matters.

Ironic Hint Here

In the meantime, we need to take care of the business at hand today.

Today's Challenge - Black Gold, Texas Tea

Everybody talks about oil prices like they talk about bad weather. "Wonder if they'll go down?" "Well, they always have." Well, it ain't necessarily so. Oil prices are a tsunami that can drown us if not stopped.

The problem here is how to get the oil prices back down to a sustainable level. That is the goal. It is what we need. This is our endgame. Low oil prices define victory for America.

But the Bushies don't get it. Or, gasp!, maybe they are not really on our side. Bush and his crew seem to think that the real issue is whether the market is being "manipulated."

That's not the problem! The attitude of Hairless Hank Paulson and President Bush seems to be that if these high prices are simply a market response to supply and demand, then that's just fine. Our newsies all watch dispassionately while they dutifully report the latest numbers, then segue into their next news segments on rising unemployment, the falling dollar, inflation, and the need for higher interest rates here at home. It's all so interesting to watch, isn't it?

Famous Fiddler

As Johnny Most would say, Bush is fiddling and diddling.

This is absurd. Rome is burning! That's a metaphor. Don't flip to CNN.com. It means that we are fiddling around with minor things while everything around us turns to shit and gets flushed away.

Staring into the Abyss

War and oil, War and oil,

Go together like a lance and boil,

Let me tell ya, brother,

You can't have one without the other.

War for America

When I was young, we worried about war in Europe. A third of our Army was always stationed in Germany. Now Europe is unionized. The European hot spots today are where east meets west, like the Balkans, and Turkey.

The Patsy and Pansy Strategy

Republican pussy-ass Senator Mitch McConnel recently said, talking about Iran, "Americans should be scared." What a chicken. Scared of Iran? Is he kidding? Doesn't he know what a nuclear tipped MIRV ICBM is? Well, It's about 8 atom bombs on one missile that goes into outer space and then comes back down, each bomb going to a different target. Cool, huh? The US can send these missiles to anywhere we want in the world, on about 15 minutes notice. Each American ICBM has about 8 MIRV's. Once they are launched, they are on their way, and noone can stop them. We have about 3,000 of these babies. So, 3,000 ICBM's times 8 MIRV's is about 24,000 nuclear bombs raining down from above. And that doesn't even count the nuclear bombs we can launch from our submarines, any of our 250 Navy ships equipped with the Vertical Missile Launch System (VMLS), or the plain old fashioned "silver bullet" nuclear bombs dropped from virtually any US Air Force or Navy aircraft, or any left over nuclear tipped Tomahawk cruise missiles that we don't really deploy anymore.

And guess what else? Our counterparts in Russia and China have loads of them, too.

So, as North Korea had the pleasure of learning, upon joining the nuclear bomb club, Iran will have the educational experience of realizing that it now has several hundred nuclear missiles permanently aimed at all of it's major cities and government and military facilities. Not just by the US, but by Russia and China, too. Maybe also India, England, France, and Israel as well. Congratulations on this great achievement! Do you feel more secure with your six bombs and no way to deliver them to a target? Oh, and remember not to make any of us too nervous.

Remember, the US has an official "strike first" policy now.

This is why some countries, such as Ukraine and now North Korea, have elected to become non-nuclear. It makes sense.

As for US policy, we don't need to keep every street in Baghdad free of bad guys to make the world safe for America. If we are worried about our enemies plotting to destroy us, let them ripen into a destroyable target, then go in and destroy them and come home again. This could probably be managed on a once every 3 to 5 year basis.

The current war is draining us of blood, money, military strength, and national morale. We don't need this war. This war is for the chickenshits who are afraid to deal with bad guys. Fuck the bad guys. I'm not afraid to talk to them. Go talk to them. Tell them that if we get any more of their shit, then we come back and blow their country up all over again. We owe the Iraqis nothing. For us to be paying to rebuild their country is the most stupid foreign policy I've ever heard of.

Let's rebuild New Orleans instead. Did you know that there is lots of oil in New Orleans? And they like off-shore drilling there. And they hardly ever kill American soldiers, except for the occasional bar fight.

Well, I'm about done ranting for today. I had better stuff originally, but the Google Blogger program lost it all. So this is all I have. I apologize for the tardiness in getting you a Fourth of July post.

Her are some old timey anti-war songs from the day when singers and folks weren't so afraid of losing their record deals by taking a stand. That was called "selling out" in those days. Today it seems like the only thing our talented people want is to get into a position where they can sell out and cash in.

We all need to start speaking up. If you don't like the war, start mentioning this to people. You don't need to be maniacal, just you don't see the sense in continuing it. But it is important say something. It may even be your patriotic duty.

You can play these by clicking on the pictures.

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish

Edwin Starr - War

Troops Home Now!

Thursday Oil Thoughts & Fun Facts

OIL AT $143 PER BARREL!!

Oh Nooooo!

Quick Facts & Snippets

Figures for 2001:

World Oil Consumption = 68 million barrels per day

Arab Countries Production (including Iran) = 22 Million barrels per day = 32%

OPEC (Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries) Production = 29 Million barrels per day = 42%

OPEC has excess production capacity of 4 Million Barrels a day.

No other country has any significant excess production capacity.

US Strategic Petroleum Reserve can hold 700 million barrels.

The Alaska Pipeline can carry a maximum of 800,000 barrels per day. And it does.

Pre Iraq War II comment from Cato Institute Senior Fellow Alan Reynolds, March 16, 2003:

"What about oil? George Perry at the Brookings Institution estimated an Iraq war could push oil prices up to $75 to $161 a barrel. Industrial economies would implode before oil prices got that high. Besides, traders anticipate trouble, so prices rise long before trouble starts. Oil prices jumped 90 percent before the last Iraq war, and 75 percent before the next one (if it happens)." - Bolding added by me.

Economic Warfare - Remember the USSR?

Here are some interesting comments from our enemies regarding economic warfare:

Boo!

"We are continuing in the same policy to make America bleed profusely to the point of bankruptcy," said bin Laden.

"Every dollar of Al Qaeda defeated a million [U.S.] dollars," bin Laden concluded.

"All that we have to do is to send two mujahedeen to the furthest point east to raise a piece of cloth on which is written Al Qaeda, in order to make generals race there to cause America to suffer human, economic and political losses without their achieving anything."

"We call our brothers in the battlefields to direct some of their great efforts towards the oil wells and pipelines," reads a jihadist website. "The killing of 10 American soldiers is nothing compared to the impact of the rise in oil prices on America and the disruption that it causes in the international economy."

So, as Sean Connery said to Kevin Costner in The Untouchables, "What are you prepared to do now?"

Please write your Representatives and Senators. Just tell them that this issue is important to you. You do not have to tell them what to do, just that it is important.

Is Oil A Problem Or Not?

BRENT CRUDE FUTR (USD/bbl.)
PRICE 139.830
CHANGE -0.480
%CHANGE -0.34

Have you heard the latest dramatic action that president Bush is taking to get oil prices under control?

Me neither.

The Bushes are self proclaimed "oil men" who have been sucking up to the Saudis and other oil giants for generations, so you would imagine that they would at least be able to call some kind of summit meeting for all of the big players to discuss what's happening. But nothing.

Not a word.

Perhaps I am mistaken, but I am under the impression that the tripling of oil prices is a world-wide economic catastrophe that could lead to a near global depression. Yes? No? Maybe?

Is anybody in our government paying attention? Well, apparently that task has fallen to Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson. Let's see what he's doing . . .

Monitoring Market Conditions

Courtesy of Bloomberg June 24, 2008 -

Paulson also repeated his view that high oil prices are a symptom of tight supplies, rather than a trend driven by financial speculators. ``I just think it's important that when you see a fundamental issue, that you don't get diverted with an issue that is not a key driver and is not central to the problem,'' Paulson said. When asked about the role of speculators, Paulson stuck by his insistence that it is not a big factor in current market conditions. ``I've seen no evidence that it is a major factor. And I've seen a lot of evidence that there's a supply-demand issue, and inventories are becoming tighter,'' Paulson said, adding that U.S. officials will continue to monitor market conditions.

Well, OK, I guess. But should something more be happening? For some reason, I personally am way more worried about oil prices that I am about Al Quaeda blowing me up, or Iran building nuclear power plants (actually seems kind of smart), or whether Mitt Romney will get to lose another election this year, or who's doping up at the Olympics.

I've had three of my clients go out of business this year. And I don't have a lot of clients. Our economy is about to go into the tank, and it already has for a lot of people. Meanwhile, folks in Dubai are skiing indoors. That's great for them. But it seems to signal a big shift in wealth. We say good bye, they say hello. Let's make it not so big.

George should at least call a big meeting to discuss it. He's done nothing! Instead I'm only hearing about what McCain or Obama will try to do about it next year. What about this year? Will somebody please go into the oval office and slap that fool awake!

Remember all that bullshit talk justifying the Iraq War II about oil being the fuel for the "engine of democracy" and so strategically we could not allow ourselves to be blackmailed with it? Well, guess what? We're not being blackmailed. We're being robbed.

Let's get it together here. The sellers should not have this kind of pricing power. We have other cards to play here besides just stupidly bidding our dollars away. Please tell me we are smarter than this. We, meaning you and I, can start by letting own pols know that we demand some action. And we don't mean invading Iran.

Word of the Day - Mau Maued

Ahhh. Maureen Dowd. NYT's resident bitchy vixen, has managed to use the term Mau Mau in relation to Barack Obama. I'm not sure how many main stream media types would dare to do this. There is absolutely no way this was a mistake. She's playing with fire, teasing all the conservative writers who would get pilloried for such cutesiness with racially charged terms.

Here's the quote from Sunday's column:

"It’s hard to fathom why Obama should be mau-maued into paying off the debt that Hillary and Bill accrued attacking and undermining him, while mismanaging the campaign and their nearly quarter-billion-dollar war chest so horribly that one Hillaryland insider told The New Republic that it bordered on fraud."

Redheaded Seductress Maureen Dowd

Excellent point! Especially given that about $12MM of Hillary's $22MM campaign debt is owed to Hillary herself, and another $6MM is owed to the hateful and rightfully despised Mark Penn. Take those two out of the mix and I'll send in $100. I don't even mind paying Hillary back, but as long as Mark Penn is in the mix, fuggedaboutit.

So, unless you're as old as John McCain, you're probably wondering, "What the hell is a Mau-Mau?" Some kind of chocolate-coconut candy from Hawaii? Well, no.

The Mau Maus were a group of African revolutionaries in Kenya in the 1940's and 1950's, fighting English imperial rule. They used protests, strikes, and terrorism to fight the English. Of course they were also black, and so even scarier than the Irish Catholics. The Mau Mau lost, but their cause ultimately prevailed.

Kenyan Mau-Maus

And their name has stuck around. Tom Wolfe used it in a hip book from the 1970's. (Isn't it funny that Tom Wolfe used to be hip?) As a verb, it means to strong arm someone, which is a form of "unarmed" (hah hah!) robbery. Basically to bully someone into doing something or giving up something.

But, it also is used, rarely, as a racial pejorative for black people, implying that they are criminals or violent. When I say rarely, I'd say not as rarely as "Macaca," which I had not heard used as an epithet prior to Senator George Allen's famous blurtation.

So, for context, I've included this song from Hair! which includes the use of Mau-Mau (I know I'm being inconsistent with the hyphens) among a litany of racially derogatory pronouns. It's also a pretty snappy tune. But don't sing it at work.

I'm not typing or saying the name of this song.

So, what do you think? Will Maureen catch any flak? Should there be fallout? Will anyone even notice? If nobody notices, is that even worse for Maureen? And finally, what is she up to with this?

Weekend Roundup

Kids Today

My 5 year old tells me that the big kids "make out" while they hang around their swim meet waiting for their races. When I ask what "make out" means, I get giggles, until finally my 8 year old answers that it means, "bust a move." Who knew?

Young MC

Our Growing Economy

If GDP is up 1%, but inflation is 4.2%, then I don't think the economy is really growing. Oh, and oil is at $142 a barrel.

The Angelina Jolie of Journalism - Lara Logan!

So, I saw CBS's Lara Logan on The Daily Show and thought, "What a gutsy chick going into all those war zones. May she's brainy, too." Well, maybe. But now she's also a tabloid queen for having 2 boyfriends in Iraq who got into a fight over her. A fistfight in Iraq? Now that's news! Oh yeah, she and one her boyfriends are married to other people, and she's from Africa.

Old Ralph Nader Still Crazy But Now Also Racist!

Ralph Nader, who may or may not also be Alan Alda, became a famous liberal icon by writing a daring "tell all" book to inform the country that cars can be dangerous. And he was right! That was about 45 years ago. So, apparently bored, Ralph has kept busy by being a public crank and helping Republicans beat Democrats in elections because his own political soul is too pure to engage in the dirty business of doing any real-life good in the world.

For his next act, Ralph will publicly soil his pants in a condescending and pretentious manner.

Here's Ralph's latest insightful ralph on Barack Obama:

"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader said. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards."

Well, they call it ralphing for a reason. Obama is obviously just a white-talking mulatto who doesn't give a crap about exploitation. (When's the last time you heard the word "explotation" in a political context?) He ain't no better than that white-playing quadroon Tiger Woods.

Nader, of course, is Green, thus continuously embarrassing all people who care about the environment.

Irresistable headlines

Fla. Man Dies After Taking 23 Shots in 30 Mins.

Before Kissing Girl, Katy Perry Sang to God

Who Should Host Meet The Press?

Tim Russert wore many hats at NBC, but hosting Meet the Press on Sunday mornings was his show for 18 years. So, naturally, people are starting to wonder who will take over a show that's been on for as long as most of us can remember.

Tom Brokaw will fill in for the immediate period, which seems appropriate for his anchor emeritus status. But who will fill the job on a permanent basis? It's actually kind of a cheery guessing game to be able to play after the jolting loss of Mr. Russert. I would imagine that he would see it as timely as well, in an election year with historic overtones.

So, first, what's the criteria? That would be a logical place to start. But deciding who you want to watch on tv can be a little like dating or house shopping. You want to look at everything until you fall in love.

Meet the Press is a prestige property. And NBC will want to keep it that way. Current NBC newsies will have the inside track, no doubt. But an outside hire is always possible. I would expect that NBC will also not want to give up on any currently successful shows, like Matthews or Olberman, by moving the name host to MTP.

But who do we viewers want? Some basic guidelines would be:

1. The new host should be someone who's experienced, cut their teeth, made their bones, earned their stripes. Meet the Press is not middle management. It is a destination job.

2. It is also political job, so we want a political junkie. This reduces the pool to experienced political reproters.

3. We want it lively. Politics is fun for a lot of people and so should be the show. So we want a real personality, like Russert, who fills the room with vitality.

4. We want someone worldly. It's time to go global in our political gossiping. We are looking at the future, and the future continues to show a shrinking world. We want someone with a global perspective.

5. Since it's called "Meet The Press" the host should be someone who can legitimately claim to represent "the press."

Having said that, let's consider some candid dates.


1. The Obvious Dandydates

Brian Williams - NBC nightly anchor may want the hour for more reflective reporting, but may not want the 7 day work week.

Andrea Mitchell - NBC political veteran seems like a natural fit. Putting in a woman would also be a timely move.

Soon to be jobless NBC alumn has lots of inside friends, but CBS anchor gig proved she's not a real reporter and no politico.

Chris Matthews - a real political addict and entertainer, but doesn't pull in the ratings and some question the quality of his credentials. Also already has 2 tv shows.

George Stephsomething - Booooring. Current host of ABC's This Week Without David Brinkley probably not going anywhere.

David Gregory - Tall, blonde, and handsome David is currently hosting MSNBC's Race For The Whitehouse, scheduled to sunset just as Brokaw's temporary tenure expires. Coincidence?

Bob Scheiffer - Everybody loves CBS's senior anchor Bob Scheiffer, but he's probably heading for retirement.

2. Bold Moves We Would Like To See

Christiane Amanpour - This would be exciting! Amanpour is with CNN and has also done work with CBS' 60 Minutes. She's international, and could expand MTP's scope.

Gwen Ifill - PBS moderator of Washington Week in Review as well as Jim Leher's sidekick on NewsHour. She would be solid but is a little low key. She has the gravitas, though.

3. Longshots

Keith Olberman - Too fiery and too liberal.

Norah O'Donnell - Solid political reporter could do the job, but may be viewed as too young.

Joe Scarborough - Former Congressman and UF Law alum has established an evenhanded political approach that works well. Not really a reporter though, so may not fit as the representative of the press the show seeks.

Chuck Todd - Interesting Russert protege, political junkie, official MSNBC number cruncher, has good insight, and also has weird fan following. I think he's too young though.

Alex Witt - MCNBC Anchor also plays in band called Mrs. Robinson, and let me just say, well, I'm down with that. Not a real politico, though, so I don't think she's in the running.

4. Up & Comers - Maybe Next Time

David Shuster - Too young, needs to learn to tone down the opinions a bit, but he'll be doing something good by this time next year. That "pimping" thing only made him cooler.

Michelle D. Bernard - Smart cookie will show up more and more if the MSNBC has any sense.

Rachel Maddow - Awesome Rachel is strong politico with great insight, charm, and the voice and presence to control a political debate. She's be a great choice, but may be a bit too . . . um, gay, for some at MSNBC. She should get her own show though. I'd watch it.

Ann Curry - A surprise surge in 51 year old Ann's career as she goes from Today Show's third banana to appearing as substitute anchor on NBC Nightly News. Back to her early reporter roots. Middle aged women and men all wonder why she still loooks 30. Not really politically oriented, though, so a longshot.

5. No Chance

Stone Phillips - It used to be good to be Stone Phillips.

Dan Rather - Hah hah! Just kidding.

Matt Lauer - A great interviewer, Matt is capable of more heavy lifting than the Today Show. Not an real MTP cnadidate, but I'd like to see him do more politics. Another suspiciously young looking 50-something.

Harry Smith - Great reporter and interviewer. A CBS player so not a real candidate.

Edith "E.D." Hill - Fox mouthpiece famous for not knowing what a "pound" is and calling it a "terrorist fist jab." Her show was cancelled 4 days later.

Tucker Carlson - Works at MSNBC with no specific job that I can identify. Show got cancelled. A conservative shill, but insightful. Sometimes obnoxious, but it's hard not to like him a little. No chance here though.

Good Order & Discipline

Soldiers, like all military equipment, will deteriorate and wear out from overuse. Mentally, this is why "morale" is so important in the military. Once any person gets to the "fuck this shit" stage of demoralization, it's tough to get them back without a good, long break. Repeated 15 month tours, combined with a lack of a clear mission, is demoralizing our Army. And it is a big big problem.

Military officers are charged with the duty to maintain good order and discipline. It's not happening in Iraq. The next time you want to watch a half hour of whatever is on tv, click on Youtube instead, and watch some "Iraq" videos. The conventional narrative that we hear from our political leaders, telling us about how eager the troops are to stay and complete their mission, is blatantly absent. What you will find are American soldiers who are frustrated, angry, bitter (yes - bitter!), profane, emotionally detached, and grouchy. More than that, watching these young men, one gets a feeling that they are, somehow, lost. They are acting mean, and are indifferent to the suffering and need around them. I don't think this is how they were when they first arrived in Iraq.

Did you know that the military is not testing the troops in Iraq for drugs? Drug testing of all military members has been mandatory since Ronald Reagan became President in 1981. Who made this policy change? I didn't read about it in the papers or hear about it on the news. Any suspension of drug testing in the field looks to me as a none-too-subtle green light for soldiers to get high. Talk about the opiate of the masses. Stepping back, I see an Army of soldiers given alcohol, pornography, vulgar music, free to do drugs, and free to abuse civilians, all without any clear mission. This is the Army of the 1970's. It's already breaking. This needs to stop.

Good order and discipline keeps morale high. Soldiers did not sign up because they wanted to be a part of some low class gang of profane bullies. When they signed up, they had high hopes. When the officer corps allows the worst behavior to become the norm, and fails to punish offenders, the good soldiers become demoralized. They think, "Why am I trying so hard to do it right when nobody here cares?" And then they start to feel like fools for carrying the burden when the slackers are allowed to fuck off.

I saw these video clips on Youtube and they are very disturbing, at many levels. Where are the officers and NCO's in charge of these guys?

This one I am suspicious of as a possible hoax:

Anyone know anything about this?

To support the troops, we need to use them in a humane and reasonable way. We are using them up like disposable cigarette lighters with these repeated and extended combat tours.

In Viet Nam, the rule was a soldier only had to do one tour, and typically that tour lasted 11 or 12 months. In Iraq, the tours are 15 months and many soldiers have to do 3 or more. And when their enlistment is up, the Army tells many that they are forced to stay in under the "stop-loss" program, so that they can be sent to Iraq again. Add to this the many problems our veterans are having getting their promised benefits once they return home, and it adds up to a shameful situation.

Support the troops by taking care of the troops.

Wednesday Catch-up Potpourri

Iraqi Kids Enjoy Summer Vacation

Akbar has to be the American next!

Dana Perino Canonized!

I'm really really sorry about those earlier posts.

Barack and Hillary Make Up

Obama Eager To Meet Hillary Supporters

And so is Bill!

Weird Stuff That's "In"

http://www.trucknutz.com/

Don't blame me, I'm just the messenger, here.

Words I Had To Look Up Recently

Lede - this one is not in my dictionary or Wikipedia. Apparently it is uniquely used by journalists to refer to the opening sentence or paragraph of a story. (Lawyers call this the "commencement.") There are 2 theories on why it is spelled this way. First is that publishers intentionally misspelled it to distinguish it from the heavy metal "lead" that was the material fixed type was made of. Second is that "lede" was the original spelling of the word "lead" (the verb "to lead") until the 1500's, and the original spelling only survives in this context.

Temporal - this word has several meanings, but the one I was looking for is basically "chronological," as in time.

Keeping Track

Crude Oil is at $136.80 a barrel.

Child Rapists

Convicted Child Rapist

Courtesy of CBS News - Richard Troy Gillmore was sentenced to 30 years in prison in 1987 for raping 13-year-old Tiffany Edens. Gillmore, an admitted serial rapist who terrorized Portland, Oregon-area woman in the 1970s and '80s, stalked his victims while jogging and became known as "The Jogger Rapist," reports Early Show national correspondent Hattie Kauffman.

Last year, the parole board recommended Gillmore be set free, despite a psychological evaluation that showed he has a 75 percent chance of raping again.

So, Edens joined the local district attorney's office in a lawsuit seeking to keep Gillmore behind bars. Edens says she wanted the parole board members "to get a sense what it was like to be a 13-year-old girl on a Friday night doing her chores so that she could go to a movie with a friend and to have a sleepover, and then to be brutally raped and ambushed in her home. And that's what I wanted everyone in that room to get a sense of what that's like for somebody that goes through that."

"I think he's a serial rapist waiting to get out and commit rapes again," declared Multnomah County Deputy D.A. Russ Ratto. Their opposition comes despite a condition of parole that Gillmore wear a GPS tracking device.

Tiffany Edens today

Well, if you are like me, these stories just really make you mad. I am always doubly mad when the press is complicit, and enables irresponsible conduct by public officials, by not identifying who they are. It's just "the parole board." I just bet old Richard Troy Gillmore got a real kick out seeing his rape victim have to come into court again. And I bet those folks on the parole board will be really really sorry if he decides to go see her again once he's out. Really sorry.

For more on the history of this case click here and here.

So who are these people? Well, they are right here:

Steven R. Powers

Steven R. Powers served as an Assistant Attorney General in the Appellate Division of the Oregon Department of Justice before coming to the Board. In that role, he briefed and argued a variety of civil, administrative, and criminal cases before Oregon and federal appellate courts, and was a member of the team of attorneys who defended Oregon’s Death With Dignity Act before the Supreme Court of the United States. Mr. Powers received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Western State College of Colorado and his Juris Doctor degree from Willamette University College of Law. During law school, Mr. Powers was a Public Honors Fellow/Extern at the Oregon Supreme Court and following graduation he served as a Petitions Clerk for the Oregon Supreme Court. Term(s): 02/05/2007 - 06/30/2009

Darcey Baker

Prior to being appointed to the Board, Ms. Baker served as a parole and probation officer and unit supervisor with Clackamas County Community Corrections for 25 years. Ms. Baker is a recognized leader in sex offender notification and was instrumental in the enactment of SB 444 into law respective to predatory and sexually violent dangerous offenders. Additionally, Ms. Baker is an advocate of educating the public on sex offenders in our communities and a social service professional through her involvement with the Oregon Sex Offender Supervision Network. Ms. Baker is a 1979 graduate of Southern Oregon State College with a Bachelor of Science degree in Criminology. Term(s): 06/25/2004 - 12/10/2007 12/11/2007 - 12/10/2011

Candace Wheeler

Candace Wheeler possesses a Masters of Social Work from Portland State University and a Bachelors of Arts from Western Oregon University, as well as a certificate in paralegal studies. From 1999 to 2006, she was employed by the Oregon Department of Justice as a paralegal. She supported a team of attorneys representing the board and the Department of Corrections in civil and criminal appeals. Previous to her work with the Department of Justice, Ms. Wheeler worked for the Alaska Citizen’s Foster Care Review Board overseeing program development and day-to-day program service delivery, and spent many years as a social worker in the field of adoption and foster care placement. Term(s): 02/01/2006 - 01/31/2010

MEANWHILE, Back in Washington, DC, The US Supreme Court Says,

"We conclude there is a national consensus against capital punishment for the crime of child rape." - Kennedy v. Louisiana, to see the full opinion click here

Well, I for one did not even get a chance to vote on that national consensus. I'm not a big fan of the death penalty, but I could probably pull the trigger on these guys.

The Iraq Surge - So What?

American Soldiers in Iraq

David Brooks today takes a break from reality for a trip to Never-Never Land (notably not to Iraq) in writing rapturously about how courageous President Bush was to defy his generals, and the will of the American people after the November 2006 Elections, by sending thousands more of our brave, young people down into the rathole of Iraq for The Surge. And what a success Mr. Brooks sees there. To quote our Mr. Brooks,

David Brooks

Bush, who made such bad calls early in the war, made a courageous and astute decision in 2006. More than a year on, the surge has produced large, if tenuous, gains. Violence is down sharply. Daily life has improved. Iraqi security forces have been given time to become a more effective fighting force. The Iraqi government is showing signs of strength and even glimmers of impartiality. Iraq has moved from being a failed state to, as Vali Nasr of the Council on Foreign Relations has put it, merely a fragile one.

Well. That all sure does sound pretty good. Doesn't it? This Surge has really helped America, right? It's really all been worth it, right? We Americans are a lot better off because of all of this, because . . . well, why exactly?

Guess Which One David Brooks Calls Courageous?

How does this help America? Exactly?

Pop Quiz Time!!!

Q: The Iraq War (II) and The Surge has helped America by (fill in the blanks):
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

(Answers Below)

Coincidently, Bob Herbert also appeared in the NYT today writing about a RAND Corporation study on our returning Veterans. Here's Bob referencing that study,

The study found that approximately 300,000 individuals who served in Iraq or Afghanistan are currently suffering from P.T.S.D. or depression, and that 320,000 have most likely experienced a traumatic brain injury.
-----
Add to that burden the mental torture of depression or P.T.S.D. or the debilitating effects of traumatic brain injury, and you have the stuff that leads to alcoholism, drug abuse, family dissolution, homelessness, trouble with the law and sometimes suicide.

Bob Herbert

Obviously Bob is choosing to be a Negative Nelly about how courageous President Bush is in this time of war. If only Bob and the other Debby Downers out there would open their eyes and see all the good that war has done for us.

Oops. Don't look at this chart.

Crude Oil Prices

Answers To Pop Quiz:

1. Makes huge profits for Cheney's bosses at Halliburton
2. Disrupts oil production for 5 years and counting, spurring interest in alternate energy sources
3. High oil prices keep oil industry profits and oil stock prices high, saving the US stock market, and our 401-K's, from complete collapse in otherwise crappy economy (TX is doing fine btw)
4. US weapons industry gets to field test all their products, helping sales
5. Neocon nerds get to pretend they're tough by talking about fighting


OK, those could be construed as actual benefits. But what about the cost? Mr. Brooks?

Stupid Republican Contest

This is US Representative Thaddeus McCotter. Really. He is from Michigan, the state with the worst economy in the country, if you don't count Iraq. Of course, at least in Iraq things seem to be improving.

So, you might naively think that perhaps Ichibod, I mean Thaddeus, might be hard at work in the Congress trying to reform and revive the auto industry, or help bring new business to the economic dead zone of the Mitten State.

But no. Instead, Thaddeus is spending Congressional time to warn us that after 7 plus years of Republicans In Charge!, we are in danger that the Democrats will ruin the economy and tax everyone out of a job and lose the war in Iraq. And just to show just how detached from reality, and his job, he really is, Thaddeus delivered his message in a little skit, on the floor of the US House of Representatives, where he sarcastically pretended to "translate" words that Democrats use into what they really mean.

The people of Michigan should really be embarrassed by this.

It is painful to watch, but useful. Because, if keeping our country viable is important, then we really need to ask ourselves if it is OK to have people like this in Congress.

Just watch it as long as you can stand it. It's only 3 and a half minutes.

Wall St Wants Obama

Jim Cramer says that the investment community wants Obama. Appearing on The Chris Matthews Show on Sunday, Cramer said that under Bush we "have the worst of the worst" and that we "need a new broom." He also said that Obama's tax plan "will work." As for McCain's tax plan, Cramer said that the only to benefits would be to those "making over $2.8 million per year." He also tossed in that investors don't trust McCain.

That is pretty incredible. Cramer is the controversial, and possibly insane, host of CNBC's Mad Money. I don't know where he got that $2.8 Million number, but it's a pretty severe indictment of McCain's plans.

At the more serious and somber Bloomberg News, on last week's Political Capital with Al Hunt, intrepid financial reporter Alison Fitzgerald stated that under McCain's tax plan the top 1 tenth of 1% (o.oo1) of taxpayers would realize a tax cut averaging $800,000. This is in stark contrast to Obama's plan to allow many, if not most, of the Bush tax cuts expire, basically returning us to tax levels similar to Ronald Reagan's, while pledging not to increase taxes for families making less than $250,000 a year. That covers most of the folks I know. The tenor of the show seemed to be that Obama's plan was more realistic, though neither adequately addressed the looming budget deficits.

Bloomberg's Albert R. Hunt

In other news the Newsweek poll shows Obama ahead of McCain nationally ahead by 15%. Even my home state of Georgia is in play. Hey, we are the state of MLK, Jimmy Carter, and Sam Nunn. Why the big surprise?

War Profiteer & Rape Club KBR Back in the News!

Dick Cheney's old colleagues at KBR, a Halliburton subsidiary until 2007, are in the news today AGAIN, courtesy of our friends at the New York Times. Check it out here.

KBR is the Army's single largest contractor. They provide vital services, and that gives them leverage. And like the good businessmen that they are, they use it.
It's a not very funny story about how KBR got the Army to pay them $1BILLION for questionable charges in Iraq, and to fire the Army contract manager, Charles M. Smith, who tried to hold KBR accountable. Hah! What an idiot. Didn't he realize he was dealing with Halliburton?
When the Army's Mr. Smith told KBR that he would be withholding payments until KBR provided proper documentation, KBR threatened to withhold battlefield services. So, the U.S. Army . . . well, they totally caved in and gave KBR all the money it wanted. I doubt this type of thing would have happened in the pre-privatization era, when those same battlefield services were provided by people who were actually in the Army.

Who's The Boss?

KBR CEO William P. Utt

US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates

KBR has also had a couple of very bad rape cases find media daylight in the past few years. Here are links to these stories.

http://www.injuryboard.com/national-news/kbr-defends-itself-against-jones.aspx?googleid=28782

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080421/houppert

Now, for reasons that are not exactly clear to me, our government's position on these is that the American rapists who attacked these American women cannot be arrested or held criminally accountable by either American or Iraqi law enforcement. The argument goes that the U.S. has no jurisdiction over civilian "contractors" in Iraq, and the Iraqis, per their new Constitution, have no legal authority over Americans who are involved in the occupation/war.
I really do not believe that this can possibly be true. If it is, then it seems that we could use the same legal loophole to just shoot/hang/castrate/rape/behead/alloftheabove these rapists in Iraq. If they've managed to get back home, we could "render" them back to Iraq. Not the best solution, but sometimes in war you have to improvise.
Plaudits to Senator Bill Nelson of Florida for caring about this. I don't know a lot about Bill Nelson, but I hope he follows through on this.

Florida Senator Bill Nelson

I Read The News Today (Oh Boy!)

Headlines I Simply Could Not Resist

Amy Winehouse Arrives Drunk With No Underwear For $2 Million Russian Concert

The Vatican Bans "Angels & Demons" From Rome Churches

Kevin Federline Named Father Of The Year By Vegas Nightclub

9 Ways To Be A Better Kisser

Why Straight Women Dig Women

Police: Grandmother Walks In On Lesbian Tryst, Attacks Teen

Iran police start wider crackdown on un-Islamic dress

Movies I'm Going To See Soon

War, Inc. - Anti-war film starring John Cusack (the guy in Say Anything)

Well, I guess not. What's up with this? How did the CIA manage this?

Showtimes & Tickets
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It Is Officially Time To Panic

Remember when we thought $40 a barrel was expensive?

Gazprom Aims for $1 Trillion Club on $250 Oil: Chart of the Day

By Lee J. Miller

Gazprom CEO Alexei Miller and Satan

Fickle Fingers of Fate

Hey, I've got a great idea about Iraq . . .

That's a long one.

Stewie

May I interrupt to tell this one additional lie?

Rollie Fingers - Not a porn star.

Oh, no. No, no. Not good.

That's a little better. But keep working on it.

That's it!

Oh my . . . ! Oh, wait, never mind.

I'm smart! Really!

But I'm a dinner jacket !

Finger Memories.


How does she know?

Hah! Dana's calling you out, Bill!

If he wasn't so stupid, I'd be offended.

You don't really have to do that, it's just an expression.

Succinct & to the point.

Tim Russert

Tim Russert and his son Luke

The response and reaction to the sudden death of Tim Russert has really been remarkable. When the news broke yesterday afternoon, my wife called me at work and my sister emailed me as soon as they heard.

People like us, who never even met him, are upset. There was obviously a widespread warmth in the hearts of Americans for this man. And for him to die so suddenly, without any forewarning, in the prime of his life at 58, is really shocking.

One reason it's so shocking is that Tim Russert had a joyful boisterousness that made him seem to just bubble over with life. How could that just end in an instant, like a bolt from the blue? It feels like a theft.

One more thing about Tim Russert. I think that he was a man beloved by so many of us who never knew him because he had a real respect for a certain type of people like us. By "us" I mean people like my family, who were Catholics of somewhat dubious devoutness, but who believed in working hard to make a better life for their children. And as children we felt an obligation to move the family forward. This sensibility was respected by Tim Russert with a sincerity that I don't see or feel from other public and press figures. He understood at a gut level that we had worked really hard just to be middle class. He could have come from my home town.

Tim Russert will be missed by many.

Tim Russert and wife Maureen Orth

The Russerts

Trish, Kiki, Tim, Betty Anne

Elizabeth, Tim Sr.

Sister Mary Lucille, Tim Russert, Father John Sturm

More "Mistakes" From Fox

Obviously this was all just a big, unintentional, mistake.

Baby Mama! Ouch! What's that mean? Well, lookee here.

Boy, those IT guys at Fox must really be scratching their heads wondering how, when the "reporter" typed in "Mrs. Obama," the computer printed out "Obama's Baby Mama." That's a puzzler, alright! Stupid Intel chips acting up in this hot weather, no doubt.

But seriously, here's the response - Fox News's senior vice president of programming, Bill Shine, said, "A producer on the program exercised poor judgment" in choosing the screen text.

Apparently, according to the Fox News Style Manual, "poor judgment" and "blatant racism" mean the same thing. This just precious gem may resuscitate use of the old word "Shinola." At least it will for me.

I really do wonder though, do the people at Fox News know just how poorly they are regarded by the general public? Being a "Fox Reporter" is in the same professional league as being a "Tobacco Scientist" or "Timeshare Tour Guide" or "Sitcom Writer." Do they know? Are they embarrassed? I wonder what happens when they get fired and apply for work at a real news organization? Are they laughed out of the interview? Or do they just not bother, and instead just go to work for some sleazy PR outfit, like the Bush Administration?

Our Twin Pillars of . . . something.

And In Other News News

Wonkette reports that The National Press Club has invited this guy to speak to them on June 18th. Apparently he's claiming to be Barry's old boyfriend. I'm guessing that someone at NPC was desperate to get a booking after Mary Tyler Moore cancelled, and proceeded to really fuck up. Let's hope so.

Well, it gets lonely in prison.

Rupert Murdoch would be proud. I bet Fox will cover this thoroughly.

Friday's Random Thoughts

The week flew by and I can't keep straight in my mind what happened this week and what happened last week. I'm not sure what that means for my personal big picture, but maybe I've been taking anti-depressants for too long and they've affected my brain. I mean in a way they're not supposed to. On the other hand, almost nothing gets me worried these days.

Movie Reviews!

Iron Man - Man, this movie totally rocks! Robert Downey Jr. is GREAT in it. Gwineth Paltrow is sweetly alluring as his capable assistant, a sort of combination of Miss Moneypenny, Dr. Watson, Albert, and Agent 99. And Jeff Bridges is perfect. The plot's even good. And timely. Sneak a couple of beers into the theater and see it. Not for kids though. Too violent.

Kung Fu Panda - This one the kids absolutely loved. And my wife and I enjoyed it, too. An inspiring "Rocky" type tale of a chubby Panda who gets his chance to be a real life hero, and struggles to make himself ready.

Sports Update

I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to embrace the NBA even though the Celts are back in the finals, as long as lowlifes like Kobe Bryant are served up as the league's stars. Despite what they say, they are role models.

Big Brown ends his career in a pile of big brown. Last place? Really? How can that even happen?

But the big question about sports I have these days is why our Federal Government is spending my tax dollars investigating professional sports "scandals." Like whether or not NBA referees threw games. OK, maybe that's important to a lot of people, mostly professional gamblers and the "gaming industry. But I don't think it's something for the US government to be wasting time on. Since when did our government become the muscle for professional gamblers? Same point on baseball or football players taking steroids. What the hell do I care? I don't! It's a private sector matter. Suddenly our pols have no faith in the power of the market?

The feds should be spending their time and money finding Osama bin Laden, and stop fucking around with the likes of Barry Bonds. They've probably already spent more money chasing Barry Bonds that you and I paid in taxes last year. Do any of the federal prosecutors stop and ask themselves why their talents and abilities are being spent on such foolishness? Is that really what they signed up for? Or is getting their names in the paper any way they can the name of the game here?

Impeachments

Good for Dennis Kucinich in his Don Quixote attempt to bring accountability to our government by submitting articles of impeachment against George Bush. Wars of aggression are illegal. These articles of impeachment will go nowhere now, because of the lack of moral courage of our leading Democrats in Congress, and of course the blatant hypocrisy that we politely call "political partisanship" by Republicans. But he has set an historical record that will indict these dickheads in history for abusing our soldiers.

Looking to the Past for What the Future Holds

Pat Buchanan has a new book about the 2 world wars that reminds us of George Washington's admonition against foreign entanglements and Dwight D. Eisenhower's warnings of the military-industrial complex. The US is over-committed abroad today, and the conservative Ron Paul is correct on this, despite the attempts by Republicans who try to portray him as a laughingstock. For instance, would we really go to war with China if it invaded Taiwan? China, unlike Iraq or Iran, really could both attack us and invade the US mainland. Would we risk that for Taiwan?

Free Advice For Obama

Get the GI's on your side

Promise to raise military pay and support the proposed new GI Bill. Say that our service people are our greatest asset in our lines of defense, and they deserve to be treated as such. Improve military medicine, including providing mental health benefits for military children. Learn, acknowledge, and pay tribute to the very different culture that lifelong military members belong to. Allow "homesteading" where service families are allowed to serve from the same base for many years. This will earn the support of military families who suffer the disruption of the military policy of moving them every 3 or 4 years.

Re-evaluate and re-define our military posture in the world

Reduce the number of foreign bases. 700 is too many. This will save money, reduce resentment of foreign citizens, and improve military retention.

Take the position that we've already won the second Iraq War. Saddam is dead, there are no WMD's, and Iraq is not a military threat to anybody. There is no reason to stay.

Show leadership in moving toward new policies for new challenges

LEAD the democrats into accepting the necessity for an aggressive energy independence policy that will include increased oil drilling in the US, building 100 new nuclear power plants, "clean" coal plants, wind farms, and special mortgage programs for small, energy efficient homes. Geodesic domes. anyone? FYI, Jimmy Carter had a plan like this about 30 plus years ago.

LEAD us away from a "consumer economy" to an "infrastructure economy." An economy based on buying junk that we cannot personally afford is just silly.

Redefine the debates on social problems

Acknowledge that 1 million abortions a year is a social problem. Find solutions that don't involve the police or the courts looking into women's vaginas. Whatever happened to homes for unwed mothers? Break the logjam on the debate on this issue or it will cost you social conservatives.

Court the libertarian vote. These are the 25% of Republicans who, after John McCain won the nomination, still continued to get out of bed to go stand in line to fruitlessly vote against him. You can get these people. Liberty used to be a Democratic party line. Reclaim it.

Acknowledge that many people view their right to bear arms as a civil right. Taking away a person's right to self preservation is not right.

Get the doctors and the clergy onboard your universal healthcare program. It's a natural fit for both.

Count the votes

You've got to get the Jews on your side. Consider Bloomberg for VP. Visit Israel.

Show that you can use your own brand to restore America's standing in the world

Use the excitement of your nomination in the Mid-East to improve relations there now with the Arab nations. Push Bush out of the spotlight, take a fact finding trip, and start to act as the de-facto President. Show that you will be able to cool off the US - Arab tensions to get a fresh start and re-assert America's influence in the region peacefully.

When signing foreign aid treaties or weapons sales agreements, make it a condition that the counter-country add English to their school curriculum and protect the rights of Christian churches and missionaries. The only way the US will survive and thrive for centuries to come is to export our culture worldwide, like Rome did. And this doesn't mean having McDonalds and KFC restaurants in Beijing.

Don't spend our money

Don't raise taxes. We can't afford it now.

If we've gone global, talk about "Team America"

Don't go after big American companies. In a global economy, Exxon Mobil is our team. They are already minuscule compared to PetroChina and Aramco. We need American companies to be big and strong to compete in a world economy.

Attack Hugo Chavez as America's newest enemy. Everybody hates him, especially the Cubans and expat Venezualians. Paint him as the new Castro.

Call out McCain

Make McCain angry. He'll expose himself for the intemperate lunatic he is, and the press will turn against him. Yes, he was a POW, but that doesn't mean he's not a jerk.

Good luck.