Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Everybody Loves Oprah!

Oprah, Queen of the World

The Worldview, like all civilized people with television access, loves Oprah. Just look at her! What's not to love? She looks pretty hot and regal at the same time in this gown.
Quick quiz: If you're a man, what are you looking at?
We all know that Oprah struggles with weight, as many of us do. That's just another reason so many people really love her. She struggles with it. And she's not afraid to admit it. She's not a celebrity, she's a real person who is famous.
So, given Oprah's stature in our world, just what is this cockamamie thing supposed to be?

Well, it ain't Oprah.
For all the effort that apparently went into this, it misses the mark by miles. Let's count the ways:
  1. Oprah smiles. She is a font of happiness who lights up the world. The golden idol here is scowling. It looks unhappy, downtrodden, maybe even a little angry. Not Oprah.
  2. Oprah's nose is much prettier.
  3. The idol has some sort of cranial deformity protruding from the front of the forehead. Oprah's forehead is a smooth, shimmering plain of beautiful, soft skin.
  4. The idol's eyes are hooded, suspicious and too close together. Oprah's eyes are open and bright, full of interest, curiosity, caring and understanding. Her eyes are spaced symmetrically wide apart, in line with ancient ideals of beauty.
  5. Oprah has fabulous breasts, and the idol has tried to capture this. So, we give this one a pass.
  6. The hips. And the spare tire tummy. This is where the real injustice lies. Oprah does not have either of these features. Even when she's going through a heavy period, she gains all over. She is not a pear. Women are very sensitive to this, as the idol's artist must realize. This makes me suspect that something passive-aggressive is going on here. Those are not Oprah's hips or tummy.

So the idol gets a big thumbs down.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Toasty Tuesday In Florida


Always the Bridesmaid

Flash in the Pan

SuperCreep! SuperCreep! He's Super Creeepeeee! Zow!

And Finally . . . with special thanks to Ted Kennedy:

Overrated and Overstated and Just Plain Over.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Fickle Finger of Fate - Political Update

The Clintons are wearing out their welcome with the Worldview. I was a buyer when Hillary was selling competence and toughness, with a communitarian theme. But the dynamic Yalie duo has turned to nastiness and blatant distortion in trying to avoid defeat at the hands of nice-guy Barack Obama. This only makes the Clintons look like chickens, squawking in fear so loudly that it is giving me a headache.

Bill should be a little more careful about waving that finger at people. We've seen that act before, and seeing it again only makes people wonder where that finger has been recently. He's so shrill about Obama that he seems to have gone a little crazy.

Obama's latest act of indiscreet honesty was to reflect that Ronald Reagan was a "transformative" President. Well, duh. Of course he was. Reagan rebuilt the American military after it's post-VietNam decline, instituting a zero tolerance drug policy that turned out to be a huge morale builder, and giving us the military that we have today. Along with Paul Volcker, he helped to turn around our terribly stagflated economy, by stabilizing the money supply and letting interest rates float instead, cutting taxes and completely overhauling the tax code. Not everyone remembers, but America was feeling pretty low before Reagan got elected. We thought the Japanese were going to outperform us economically and were prepared to accept the Soviets (look it up if you don't know who they are) as our military equals. Reagan turned all that around.

Reagan also had big faults. He ran up a huge federal budget deficit, ignored people dying of AIDS, pandered to racist politics, and took a big dump on the environment. Bad stuff, but no different than a lot of other politicians today.

Hillary is twisting Obama's words intentionally. That is a smear. It's wrong. I'm not going to vote for her because of it.

I might vote for Obama, or I might not. I might vote for McCain. McCain is the only Republican I've ever voted for. If it's Hillary vs. McCain, I'm going with McCain. Edwards - I just can't figure out why he's qualified. If it's Obama vs. McCain, I'd have to think about it.

Huckabee has a sneaky mean streak that is starting to show. He's also pandering to religious bigots to undermine Romney, and to racists in South Carolina, where he defended the Confederate battle flag. As a Southerner, I'm sick of people assuming that all of the white people here are racists. We are not!

Giuliani has a blatant mean streak that is so out there I cannot believe the press hasn't ID'd him as an obvious sociopath. And he brings a psycho wife to boot. Hopefully he'll tank so badly in Florida that we'll never have to see his ugly, nasty mug again.

Romney, of course, has the best mug. But everyone says people don't like him. Who doesn't like him? I like him fine. He's smart, accomplished, faithful to his wife, and doesn't drink, smoke, or swear. I wish he had some national political experience, but I'd feel fine if he won.

There is something about Obama, though. He might just have the magic. You know, like Reagan, only better.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Career Moves

Real life is interfering with my blogging. Choices must be made. Time managed. Decisions decided and obstacles derided. There's a lot to do and no time to lose, and I'm just soooo damn damn tired, I just want to snooze.

Sorry. Composure! There, all better.

Tough quarter, Q4 07. Don't want to go through that again. Business is down all around and no less so right here. Pulled together a resume for the first time in a year that starts with a "2" and went job hunting. Got out the big gun, which these days comes in the form of a Toshiba laptop. Job hunting is now virtual! Who knew?

Virtuosity makes the hunt appear easier, but I am not deceived by appearances. If it's easier for me to submit 5 or 6 applications a day, then it's easier for all those underemployed losers I'm competing against, too. Too bad for them. I am all over this process.

I hope.

So, I've got a promising lead. Good face to face with the recruiter. Said he's recommending me. Yay! (How do you spell relief?) Waiting for the interview with the actual prospective employer. Trying to go through the company website, which is extensive. And slow as molasses. It won't even fully load on my PC, and I have a T-1. So I'm reading a competitor's website to hopefully get a grip on industry issues I'm going to be an expert on next week when I meet these people. Let's hope I get them right.

Sweet irony is dropping by, of course. Just when I'm ready to abandon this entrepreneurial adventure I've been on for over four years, business has a significant uptick. My CPA tells me that this is the downfall of entrepreneurs, we are ever hopeful. An uptick could mean it is finally all coming together after years of hard work, long hours, worry, risk, big changes, small changes, indecision, strife, exhuberance and stress, lots and lots of stress. Maybe this is really it!

This irrational optimism is what allows a new entrepreneur to abandon a perfectly good job to try to get rich with that business plan typed up when the boss wasn't around. And irrational optimism is what has kept me in business for well over a year after any purely rational businessperson would have called it a day, turned off the lights, and gone home. So, why give up now? Just when I have an uptick?

Why indeed? No small rhetoric there. A real question that begs a real answer.

The answer my friend, is as wispy as the wind. Because it is a very personal answer in a very impersonal context. Entrepreneurs, like me at least, are not always real businessmen. I'm not. I thought I would get really rich doing this, and getting rich sure sounded good. Well, I'm not rich yet. Not even close. It's been up and down, and pretty exciting at times. But I'm tired of the smallness of it. I may change my mind next week, but this week I'm looking to get into a large organization where someone else can worry if we run out of paper towels or toner. Where my phone is just on everyday because someone else takes care of it, and if my laptop crashes I don't need to pull out my own credit card. I'll have fancy business cards with someone else's name on them. And nobody will threaten to sue me personally. These are not rational business reasons. But they are my reasons for today, and I'm going with them.

Until I change my mind. Which I may very well do.

See you at Wal-Mart!