Little Piggies as Bait

This pig kind of looks like Mike Meyers

I've just about lost any residual respect I had for John McCain over this pig with lipstick dustup. Here's where we are as of this morning.

Yesterday Barry Oh! was telling a crowd that McCain's policies are identical to W's policies. He ticked off a list of areas where Johnny and W are "on the same page." What Barry did not do was mention Sarah Palin. Not at all.

So Barry proceeds to use some of his fancy, east-coast elite "logic" on the crowd, by pointing out that electing a Republican who will continue to implement current Republican policy isn't really "change." Barry says this because Johnny Mac is now all about "change." Just ask him.

But Barry's not buying Johnny's rap. So, he says to the approving crowd, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." Or something like that.

THE POINT HERE IS THAT BARRY WAS USING A METAPHOR TO DISCUSS MCCAIN'S CLAIM THAT HIS POLICIES WOULD CONSTITUTE 'CHANGE."

It's an old sales expression. "Let's put some lipstick on this pig and sell it." Merrill Lynch used it in a tv ad a few years back, and was promptly chastised by the rest of the securities industry for giving away the basis of their business models.

SO ANYWAY, McCain promptly issues a statement demanding that Barry apologize to Sarah Palin for calling her a pig.

What a fucking sack of shit, as my dear old Grandma used to say.

So, why would John McCain, a self proclaimed pillar of integrity, stoop to out and out falsehoods and character assassination? The answer is the simple one. He really wants to win and will do anything he can to do so.

The risk to McCain is that people like me, who could be won over (I actually voted for McCain in the 2000 primary), will be utterly disgusted by this unethical and dishonest behavior.

But the upside is very sweet. And multifaceted.

First, there are a whole lot of people out there who will only hear about this indirectly and believe straight out that Obama must called Palin a pig. This will make them mad at Obama. This is the cheap win.

Second, the news cycle is dominated by a discussion of who said what, with Barry sitting in the virtual docket, the accused. He's on the defensive.

Third, Barry will have to respond. The best thing here for McCain would be if Barry got angry and showed it, trying not to repeat the 1988 Dukakis fiasco of appearing incapable of emotion, like Mr. Spock. Then Barry would become an ANGRY BLACK MAN. And he would lose. Next best would be for Barry to be filmed giving a long, rambling explanation of what his comments meant. This is bad because i) his comments are what they are, ii) he will appear weak, and iii) we may end up with video of Barry saying the words "Sarah Palin" and "pig" in the same sentence. That would be the lede tonight on the tv.

Mike Dukakis logically explains why he wouldn't execute a man who rapes his wife.

So, what's a brilliant, sort of black candidate to do in this situation?

Keep on smiling, brother! Show the love! Barry's got possibly the best smile I have ever seen. Smile and laugh likes it's a big, funny misunderstanding. Say, "Anyone who's smarter than a fifth grader knows what I meant!" Nice Jeff Foxworthy reference appeals to rural and southern Americans, who generally vote for Republicans. Talk about how nice Sarah Palin seems. She does seem nice, so that part won't be hard. Barry's already doing this. It's smart.

Don't get roped in. Don't get angry. It's a trap.

But it's also an opportunity to start a negative narrative on John McCain. Barry can take this pig and make a meal of it if he's on top of his game. More on that tomorrow.