Rainy Saturday Random Thoughts

Does anybody really care if Jim Cramer recommended buying Bear Stearns? Has anybody really come forward to claim they bet their life savings on a single stock that was recommended on tv? By Jim Cramer? Cramer should come clean, but I'm having trouble caring too much about this one.

Seriously?

Is PETA pro-life? I'm just wondering.

I'm suddenly craving a steak.

And what is the significance of calling someone a "pumpkin eater?"

I think Michelle Obama's arms look great. Who are these people who complain about these things?

Yowza!

More and more of my age peers are on Facebook. I think it's impinging my blog traffic.

Bob Herbert is right about Chicago needing a third airport. I actually fly into Milwaukee and drive down I-94 just to avoid using O'Hare. Milwaukee's Billy Mitchell Airport is great. Atlanta also needs another airport.

Dick Cheney assassination squads? Holy cow, I can't wait! I assume Mike Meyers is already planning a movie.

Somehow nobody is surprised.

There's something funny about spelling "assassin."

The gay teen, Spencer, got booted off "Survivor" after discussing on camera, ad nauseam, his decision not to let anybody know he's gay. Sssshhhh! Such angst! Well, guess what? Now my nine year old (and the rest of the Survivor world) knows that Spencer's gay, and he wants to know what that means. Thanks a lot, Jeff.

Just some dudes raising a pole.

Thankfully the rest of the gay Survivor contestants, as well as the heteros, have other things to talk about. Like how to win Survivor. Fretting about one's secret gayness hasn't proved to be a winning strategy. Didn't this kid watch the Richard Hatch season one victory? It was Hatch's bold and daring FNF strategy that carried the day. There are no closets on Survivor.

On the news front, all of the Major Dailies seem to be going kaput. (Full disclosure: I don't really know what "kaput" means.) This is a major concern for all of the luddites who still buy paper papers. I never buy a paper paper anymore. I read them online like everybody else. If they're free. Our inkstained friends will need to turn their heads around from telling us what happened yesterday and try to see tomorrow. Paperless news is not only a foregone conclusion, it's already here and well established. Adapt or perish.

Speaking of old news, we also have broadcast tv news on the decline. The tv broadcast news folks will tell you that this is just terrible for our society. Huh? I'm always puzzled when tv people act like Jon Stewart or Colbert or even Cramer are in the minor leagues because they are on cable channels. Well, from this viewer's perspective you are all on cable channels. Am I supposed to think that a tv show on Fox is somehow more prestigious than one on CNBC or MSNBC? Why would I think that? The cable people are just better to watch than Katie or Brian or whoever is anchoring ABC News.

Which brings me to this whole HD broadcast brouhaha. I had no idea that you could still get tv without cable! I don't know a single person who does that. Though, technically, I have satellite tv, not cable. But the point is that to me it makes absolutely no difference. It's just tv. I don't care how it works. The milkman could bring it to the house in a bottle for all I care, as long as The Daily Show comes on when I want to watch it. But if I can get HD tv shows without shelling out $125 a month to Dish Network, then I'm in. This reminds me of my old man up on a ladder strapping a big antenna to our chimney. How retro! Getting broadcast tv is going to become Recession Chic. You'll hear it at parties, "And I don't pay a dime." Look for me on the roof with a wrench and a big old box from RadioShack.

The 70's really are back.

Movie recommendations!

Movies you may have assumed, or heard, would suck, but don't - Family Films Category - you know, for the kids.

City of Ember

Hero kids.

A Lobster Tale

Dad & son reunion.

Paul Blart, Mall Cop

Funny & sweet.

Hotel For Dogs

Dogs & kids

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO BLOGGER - The formatting problems are a real pain.

For Tymmy, Our Nurse

God
called me in morning
and asked me
would I do good
for him alone
without reputation.

- Florence Nightingale

Save Detroit

Poor Bobby Jiindal. He really does seem like a nice guy. But the country just can't afford any more nonsensical ninnies right now. Giving the Republican Response to President Obama's non State of the Union speech, Bobby was clearly and pitifully out of his league. The faux pas were many. His problem didn't seem to be that he sounded like he was telling an inspiring story to his 5 year old, but that he offered absolutely zero ideas on how to go forward and quickly address our nation's economic crisis.

Following in W's Footsteps

This is of course not just Bobby's incompetence. It is the actual Republican strategy. By being unhelpful naysayers, they will feel entitled to complain about anything that doesn't seem to be working exactly as hoped, and complain that the President's plans that do work didn't work as well as claimed, or really just slowed down a recovery that would have happened anyway. They really do think that we are a mob of idiots. And why shouldn't they? Until this past year, we've proved them right in 5 of the past 7 Presidential elections.

But that's not putting country first. Which of course is the point. The Republican's successful strategy is to get the labor class to unite with the moneyed class against the interest of the middle class, by baffling the uneducated buffoons with bullshit. And it usually has worked, as it has for centuries, since the middle class came into existence.

So, I'm loving the public ridicule that Bobby is so deservedly catching for his performance. But he'll be back. Rascals and con men have a shameless way of coming back to life.

Meanwhile, "conundrum" seems to be the word of the week, as non-economists realize that an economy based on the circulation of wealth is really tricky to mess with. Any solution to one problem creates a new imbalance somewhere else. It's a lot like trying to re-start a jet engine in flight without blowing it up. It's harder than it sounds.

Take our friends in Detroit. Despite decades of selling us clinking, clanking lead sleds through sleezy sales methods, they are now in need of public assistance. No crime there. Everybody needs a break now and then. But what's the problem? And what's the solution?

Our newsie friends give us the impression that Detroit needs money. Well, sure. Not having money is a problem. So is the solution to give them some? Well, not so fast.

The "Big 3" don't have any money because sales are down. Ford, which is the best condition of the three, has sales down about 2 million cars per year. That's a lot of cars. And a lot of jobs. So maybe the real need isn't money, but sales.

So here's an idea. Let's increase sales. That would give Detroit more money without just handing over a big old bag o' cash.

How? Incentives! Tax cuts! Republicans have to love this idea. And it sort of makes sense. And not just tax cuts, but tax credits. A tax credit is a dollar for dollar discount off of your tax bill for evey dollar that you spend on a BRAND NEW CAR! (Use Monty Hall voice.)

So, we give a big tax credit to everybody who buys a brand new car. I know that I would love a new car. Who wouldn't?

But Worldview, won't that flood the car market with used cars that will compete with new cars for overall car sales?

Well, yes, of course! That's the conundrum part. So, what to do? Export them! How? Tax credits again! Give dollar for dollar tax credits to folks who donate their used cars to overseas charities. This will not only help overseas charities, which is good, but also deplete the stock of available cars for sale, thus helping demand for cars recover. Hah. That wasn't so hard.

In the meantime, how about regulating these doofuses into building something that makes sense for our future. Just selling "what the market wants" is a crack dealers ethic. It doesn't stand up to scrutiny and should not be incorporated into public policy. And cars sales has now become a part of public policy whether you like it or not.

Now that's a car.