William Kristol - Dangers of Affirmative Action

SCOOP!!!

Bill Kristol Discovers That Obama Is a Muslim Communist!

Dumbest Intellectual Alive William Kristol

The New York Times has done it again. Doesn't that paper have any editors? Why not just hire Bill O'Reilly and get it over with?

This is what happens when newspapers use quotas to fill their positions for reasons of political "diversity." We end up with nitwits like Bill Kristol polluting the pages of political punditry.

In case you missed it, William Kristol, the "neo-conservative" columnist for the NYT, has reviewed the recent observations of Barack Obama that people who are out of work and in financial distress may take comfort in their church. After allegedly reviewing his old college text, The Marx-Engels Reader (apparently even Harvard doctoral programs don't bother to make their students read original texts), Mr. Kristol squeezed his eyebrows together real hard until an idea popped out. When poor people go to church and feel better, that's Communism! Or maybe Capitalism. Or maybe it's what Communists say about Capitalism. Or something.

Who knew?

So obviously Obama is a Communist. Or else he's calling people in Pennsylvania Communists. Or else he's calling churches Capitalists. Or he's saying if you go to Church then you are a Capitalist patsy. Who loves guns.

Well, whatever Bill means, what we can take away from his otherwise nonsensical column is that obviously Obama said a very bad thing, and he is obviously very bad, and probably a Communist product of a Muslim school. Like Columbia or Harvard.

Kristol Pie

Well , guess what? A lot of people live hand to mouth in this country. And they are patriotic. Do you know what some of them believe in? God, family, and country. And when times are hard and money is low, people can still go to church, they still have their family, and they can still be thankful and proud to be an American. That's what I thought about when I heard Barack's comments. I think he spoke the truth.

I think it's the people who are trying to twist his words who are being elitist.

And about the guns. Do you know why a lot of people like guns? Not so they can kill a deer once a year, though that's the reason for some people. But for many it just makes them feel safe. It makes them feel independent. That's important.

I'll bet Limbaugh and Hannity and O'Reilly are already babbling ad infinitum about Kristol's point, and that "liberals" are elitists who will disagree thus proving their elitism. So there!

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly

at a Recent Hillary Fund Raiser

I swear, it's like watching bullshit in a blender.

A Sad Farewell to Katie

Tis a sad song today, my friends. But we must honor tradition and sing it with heart.

Na na na na,

Na na na na,

Hey hey hey,

Good bye.

Time's Up For America's Sweetheart

See you soon, Katie!

Looks like Katie's out. The Wall Street Journal says so. And that's Rupert Murdoch a/k/a God talking there, so you know it must be true. I'll have to say that my wife and her snakey sister both predicted that Katie was a bad pick before she even was picked.

But first, a confession. I actually only watched Katie on the CBS Evening News twice. So having supporters like me doesn't really help her much. Also, I'm forced to say that the nights I watched . . . it wasn't good. And, with Katie in the center chair, the ratings reached depths even lower than those that Daffy Dan Rather had managed to reach. Just fyi, Katie pull in about 5MM viewers a night, while Brian Williams at NBC is at 8.3MM and crybaby Charlie Gibson at ABC gets an impressive 8MM. Ouch.

Side Note for Math and English nerds: "M" is the Roman Numeral for one thousand. Fans of Superbowls and movie copyright dates know this. So "MM" designates a million. I mention this because I've noticed that some of our tv reporter people are only using a single M, especially on their "crawlers," to denote a million.

The good news for Katie, and those of us who like to live vicariously through celebrities, is that apparently she has a contract through 2011 for a cool $15MM a year. Yeah, baby! Unsolicited fan advice: Make them pay you the whole thing!

Well, that bit of money news certainly helped to accelerate my grieving period for Katie, which is now over. So, looking to the future:

The Search Begins:

Who Will Inherit The Mantle Of Cronkite?

I'm imagining an unusual Saturday morning meeting taking place in an ostentatiously huge, corner office at the top of the Black Rock building overlooking Central Park. Stanley Bing, Les Moonves, and several other well fed white men, dressed in expensive business casual jackets and loafers, are smoking cigars and sipping bloody marys, and occasionally picking over a table of danish and bagels. Sumner Redstone is supposed to be on the speaker phone, but he's late. On purpose. Nobody's happy. Especially Les, whose broken promises Katie's people are already blaming for the whole fiasco.

But that's just my imagination. Who is likely to replace Katie? Here are my two off-the-cuff picks.

Harry Smith - The most likely pick. A 22 year CBS veteran, Harry is a great interviewer, has a calm and pleasant,but strong, presence, and a great baritone delivery. Knows his way around Black Rock, a strength that Katie notably lacked. At age 57, still young enough for a decently long tenure. And I like watching him. I'd be surprised if he's not at least the interim anchor for a test period, perhaps sharing time with our favorite oldster Bob Scheiffer.

Harry Smith

My second bet is Elizabeth Vargas. She's already been the primetime anchor at ABC, first as co-chair with Bob Woodruff. When Bob was seriously injured while covering the Iraq War, she was the sole anchor for a while. I was very disappointed that she didn't take over permanently, saying she wanted to devote more time to her impending Mom-hood. But now the word is that she was pushed aside after Charlie Gibson threw a hissy fit and threatened to quit if he didn't get the job.

What would make sense is for CBS to try to get Elizabeth under contract and groom her under Harry, like Tom Brokaw did for Brian Williams at NBC.

Elizabeth Vargas

Friday's Random Thoughts

Ready For The Weekend

Bikini Girl

1. Why does anybody care about the Olympic Torch? And why is it in San Francisco on a trip from Greece to China?
2. I really do think John McCain is going senile.
3. The more I see of Hillary the more I am convinced that she lives in the middle of her own mental Hillary-world.
4. So I guess Kansas won the April Madness basketball tournament in dramatic fashion. Too bad it happened after baseball's opening day so I didn't care anymore.
5. Mafia boss Silvio Berlusconi is about to take over Italy? Who knew? Is this good or bad for us?
6. Bad Obama trends: He's starting to stiffen up like John Kerry and she's starting to sound like Angela Davis.
7. From where I sit, the economy already seems to be bouncing back. Sunday's Hispanic Nights at Wal-Mart are as busy as ever.
8. The more I think about bailing out our over-mortgaged homeowners, the less I like the idea. If they get their mortgage reduced for being stupid, shouldn't I get the same discount for being responsible?
9. I've heard a few reporters and pundits start referring to the Iraq War as a "proxy war" between us and Iran. The problem with that theory is that we don't have a proxy. Yet another Viet Nam parallel! If we are going to have a proxy war, let's get a real proxy. (For you yungins, North Viet Nam and the Viet Cong were viewed as proxies of the USSR, which was a Russian Communist empire in the 20th century that we thought was going to nuke the US someday. But they didn't. We also thought that the commies would follow us home on a bunch of red dominoes if we gave up. But they didn't. Hmmm.)
10. I have to look up the spelling of "parallel" every time I use it.
11. I'm convinced that those New York Times columnists have a game of seeing who can insert the most esoteric word into the paper. Today's entry is "hippocampically" by David Brooks, which is an adverb that he apparently just made up from "hippocampus" that refers to two memory storing parts of our brains. Frankly, I think he has misspelled it. For good measure, Mr. Brooks also managed to squeeze in "aphasia," "langniappe," and "mnenomic"
12. NASCAR should jump on the Green Bandwagon (Hah!) and start running preliminary races of alternate fuel powered cars. Talk about an obvious win-win. Imagine all of those elitist, tree hugging intellectuals shoulder to shoulder with cap-wearing, chickenbone throwing rednecks, as they cheer on Dale Jr. and Jeff Gordon in their solar panelled, battery powered go-karts. It could all be so . . . democratic.
13. Spring is in the air. Time to start thinking about getting down to swimsuit weight!

Swimsuits

Have a fun weekend!